Return of the Living Caturday

Because I just can't keep you all waiting like that anymore, Caturday makes it's triumphant return to the LP Blog. Below, as usual, you'll find my favorites from today's Caturday Thread on Fark, featuring the story of one soggy pussy who didn't have to go down with his ship.

This one is just entirely too adorable for words...

Even Cats have love stories...

And now, for a couple of Geek Themed Kittehs...

And finally, to help ease you all into Bunnday...

Plans are in the works that will allow me to make all kinds of changes to the way this blog looks and flows. What does this have to do with Caturday? Well, I'll be able to post my own LOLCats as well as those I find on Fark. Good times ahead...

The First Salvo

It was a battle that shaped the course of World War II, and most of us have never heard of it. I myself had never heard of it at all until about 20 minutes ago. All I can say is, read the article, troll the Fark Thread, and if you want, check out the Wikipedia Article on this, one of the most important, but least-known battles of the Second Great World War...

Forgetful Jones

Oops. Forgot to mention that I finally processed some of the video from my 30th Birthday Party at Electric Avenue, small a gathering though it was. It's all available on the ol' You Tube Channel, and here's a quick sample: Behind the Scenes @ Electric Avenue!

I hope Angel doesn't beat me too badly for putting up a video with her in it...

But You May Feel A Little Sick

Sadly, this didn't make the main Not News page at Fark, and was instead relegated to the Politics Tab.

War is hell. Let there be no two ways around it: Even this Atheist will conceed that, if there were such a thing as hell at all, the closest possible real-life incarnation of that concept is War. War changes you. War fucks with you. War takes you, breaks you, and sometimes, it takes a hell of alot to piece you back together.

Sometimes, though, cracks emerge, and soldiers slip through them.

A generation ago, a few years before I was born, there was a conflict in Vietnam. We were there, trying like hell to route the spread of the "scourge" of Communism (a scourge that became all but dormant two decades later). It was an unpopular war. It was protested like no other war before or since.

That time, the soldiers coming home were treated unfairly, like a backsurge from the septic tank. Despite these men only having done the job they were ordered to do, right or wrong, and nothing more, they were treated as though they were ultimately responsible. They were shunned, spat on, some even had baggies of vomit thrown on them. In a nutshell, they were blackballed.

And they got the shit end of the stick, while the ones who deserved that treatment got off relatively scott free.

Since, America would like to think it has learned its lesson. Vietnam was a hard lesson to learn, and there are still veterans of that war who have never really managed to reintergrate into society. But apparently, only a few lessons were learned in the 30 years since the end of America's first big loss, because those homeless Vietnam Vets are being joined by a new generation, fueled by another unpopular war, another seemingly untouchable puppet master at the controls, and a new era of strategy from an ancient enemy.

Yahoo News is running this article (Fark Thread), which goes more in-depth into this sadly growing phenomenon, profiling one homeless Iraq Vet and finding out what exactly led him down the path to where he is now. Even as the American people have learned to not place blame on the sodliers fighting the war (a generation too late, sadly) while they disapprove of it, we've still managed to allow our men and women to slip through cracks we were supposed to have patched in the last 20 years.

While everyone who reads this knows that I'm not a big fan of either the war or our inept leader, at no time during this conflict have I ever NOT supported our men and women in uniform. They are literally my family and my friends. My own grandfather was part of the "Greatest Generation," and fought in World War II. Whether the wars they fought had good causes or shady underpinnings, they fought so that we can be free to do what we do. They should be thanked at every possible chance, and shown the love and support they deserve.

It's a problem that we can try to start fixing, but America still has yet to get its head all the way out of its collective ass...

Slacker

I know, I know. I made a god damned resolution to blog more, and I spend two weeks with barely a peep. I wholeheartedly apologize, and to make up for it, here's a whole mess of recap for the last two weeks.

In Fearless Leader news, Wil recently made a set of five announcements (out of four, collect them all, bad math not included) with varying bits of awesome, including another story for the Star Trek Manga series, bringing Wesley Crusher (who was awesome, fuck the haters) back to life for Star Trek: The Tour, and an upcoming appearance at Phoenix ComicCon. For the Monkeys who read this stupid little blog, you already know all of this. For those who don't, go check out what Wil's got going on. It ain't just Trek we're all geeking out about over there...

Apparently, it's Kansas 2: Electric Boogaloo in Texas, as a fundie-riddled school board is set to take over, thereby ruining the education of thousands of Texas' children. Instead of being taught the rational, sane practice of Science, they'll be taught that Dinosaurs and Man walked together, that the Earth was created in seven literal days, and all kinds of other Mother Goose horse shit. Way to go, Texas. Grouse in the Fark Thread if you'd like...

I've tried (not very heard, it's actually pretty easy) to resist commenting on the Train Wreck bullshit that is Britney Spears and her younger, unwed teenage mother-to-be sister Jamie Lynn. The Lost Prophyt blog is above such superficial, useless celebrity bullshit, and for people to be so enthralled with this crap is just a sad, sad commentary on the state of American (and even World) society. Why the hell do people hang on every moment of this crap? More importantly, who the fuck cares?!?

That being said, what could my comment possibly be? Well, it's a sick, sorry world we live in when Kevin Fucking Federline is a better parent than somebody and actually wins full custody of two kids. That is all.

Sadly, tonight, one of the greatest cartoons of the modern animation era is coming to an end. At 7pm, Cartoon Network will broadcast the final episode of Codename: Kids Next Door. I remember when this series won the Big Pick Weekend, and saw the premiere of the original short, "No P.in the OOL" Originally, KND were to be side characters in another Tom Warburton show, Kenny and the Chimp. While one K/C short has been run on Cartoon Network (along with the original KND short and the first KND "episode"), the only thing left of it is Professor XXXL. I guess you just can't let a good Frank Welker character go, can you...

Anyway, there's a 12 hour marathon on right now, so catch it while it's hot.

On the homefront, it looks like I might be going back to work for Aftershock Entertainment, which will be cool. I'll be doing alot more than I did last time, and making a bit more money at it as well. Won't that be nice, eh? Just means I'll be an even busier boy than I am now, but oh well. Gotta make those ends...

My Empire is growing...

I've been beating my brain to death trying to win the single player, multi-AI campaign in FreeCiv. From what I hear, the online servers are full of smallpox, so the home version is all I can do. And for some fucking reason, I can't seem to get that right at all...

Set The Controls For The Heart Of The Sun

Whoops, sorry about that. Over a week of nothing. For that, I apologize. My bad.

You all know how it is, I'm sure. Life takes over, and the real world takes automatic priority over its virtual counterpart. Raising a one year old is a nifty experience, though not something new to me, thank (insert deity here). Being Dad, however, is a new ballgame, one I seem to be taking to alright. For the practice that I've had over the last 10 years, I have my friends and their kids to thank. Without them, I'd be as clueless as any new father right about now.

Saturday night was the absolute SHIT! Two For Flinching (AKA my good friends Tommy, Chris and Justin) played over at the Avenue, and by golly, they rocked the fucking house. They were much tighter than their previous Avenue show, that's for damned sure.

Chris pulled a surprise on me, though, one that panned out rather well in the end, given the challenge. While I was up on stage doing UKJ's Everything About You, Chris comes over to me and says "Dude, do you know Mother?" Yeah, that Mother. With a smirk like the Cheshire Cat crossing my lips, I gave him the only response appropriate enough for a moment like that.

"Fuck yeah, dude. Rock it."

And rock it we did. In the 17 years since I picked up a guitar, and the 15 years I've been performing in whatever capacity, I gave my best live performance ever. Sorry, Tom, but this beats anything I ever did with Dick Dastardly, even the Culmerville show. When you've got awesome musicians on stage with you (as you were, Tom, don't worry), and the crowd is singing along so loud you can feel them... There's not a feeling like it anywhere on this earth.

As I walked off stage after the song was finished, I wondered to myself - If I can rock a satanic song like that, what could I do with a more sacred tune? No, I answered myself, gotta keep music evil...

After the show, Justin offered to not only make me his drum tech and take me on tour with Not Without Resistance, he also offered to play drums for whatever project I managed to throw together. After half of my life in this god-forsaken business - the business that I love second only to very, very few things on this earth - I finally feel like my dues have been paid. It's time to latch on to this last hope for bigger and better things.

It's time to see if my aging vocal chords can still pay the bills.

If anything, for a little while at least, I'll be able to doll this site up to be a tour blog. Won't that be fun, eh? We'll see what happens. Listen up, America: The Lost Prophyt might be coming to your town, and he'll be bringing some ass-kickin' friends with similarly ass-kicking tunes along with him...

Side: There would have been video of said performance of Mother, but due to Big Jim's speakers being all-powerful, the camera bailed out on Mikey. Oh well, maybe next time, but it'll be hard to top that kind of pure, heavy-duty energy...

90% Chance of FAIL

New Years Resolutions.

The lists that people come up with, filled with changes they'd like to make about themselves and their lives. Lists that are quickly forgotten in the return to normal following the holiday euphoria, and thus are rarely ever followed.

Yeah, I have a few of those myself, but I think I might be able to keep some of them. Here's just a few:

1. Blog more. Shouldn't be a problem, right? Right. Plenty for me to talk about...
2. Get the band started. Fred, Andy and I spent all of 2007 talking, but not doing, anything about it. With the holidays out of the way, we can finally focus on breaking out the four track and trying our hands at songwriting in genres other than what we're used to.
3. Drink less caffine. No problem. Stomach ulcer says that's how it has to be, and I don't like that kind of pain, so goodbye sodas and energy drinks.
4. Cut back on smoking. Notice, I didn't say quit. I have noticed, however, that I'm starting to smoke more than the usual pack a day, so I've decided to try and cut back some. Probably one I'll fail at, but it's worth a shot.
5. Make it to Tom and Gina's wedding. Florida, June 7th, and I've got to figure out a way to get us all down there, housed, and back. Should prove to be a fun logistical challenge.

So, how about all of you? What were your resolutions? Come on, don't be shy, there's a whole comment box for you to play with...

You Were Caught In The Crossfire

It. Is. Fucking. COLD.

ForecastFox is telling me that it's 12 degrees outside. DAMN. It's the coldest day of a young 2008 so far, and if you ask my muscles (which are still tense from being out there and shivering so damned much), it's easily the coldest day of the winter as a whole. Granted, officially, winter is only about three weeks old, but this frigid-ass weather has been going on for long enough. Mother Nature needs to get her shit together.

This morning, though, she managed to give me a sign that she's still got some tricks up her green sleeves. I had to go to Weis on a mission to buy some milk for The Bear, and after I'd finished my lengthy trip around the store, I checked out and headed for the doors to trek back out into what can only be described as shirtsleeve weather in Anchorage. But when I walked out the door, I noticed that it was snowing.

It wasn't the big, fat, wet-ass snow we've been used to seeing lately. It was more like the fine, powdery snow that skiers like myself love to see, with a twist: If any of you watched the ball drop Monday night, you saw confetti out the yin-yang floating freely above Times Square. Well, the snow was coming down like that, and reflected in the sliver of sunlight shining down on the market's parking lot, was transformed into a transleucent crystal blanket of diamonds, slowly floating towards the pavement below.

For a second, I forgot how cold it was, but then I was quickly reminded that I'd become a dudecicle if I stood there like a gawking oaf for much longer, so I shook the sparkles from my eyes and made my way to the Explorer. But, for that little moment, I was reminded that Mother Nature can still look good at times, even when she's PMSing.

Might be time to dust off the ol' skis and head over to Tussey Mountain for a trip down the hills. Just another reason they call it Happy Valley...

Paradise Lost

Wil's first post of the year is up and live on WWdN:IX, and while it hints at work he's doing that's currently in Non-Disclosure Land, it also points to a nifty photo-essay on Mental_Floss about an abandoned suburb in south Florida. A modern day ghost town of homes in different stages of construction, empty streets with fading signs, and property once thought valuable reclaimed by the Florida wildlife. Neat!

Thank You Mr. Handel

Maybe, just maybe, there is a (Insert Deity Here). Or at least some sort of higher power with enough clout to listen to my insane ravings, because three Chicago Newspapers are cutting back or eliminating NASCAR coverage. I have yet to grouse in the Fark Thread, but I plan on doing so soon.

And the reason for the cutbacks in NASCAR coverage? People want more local news. In other words, Chicago's regional sections are going to get more space (are you listening, Altoona Mirror?) at the expense (ha ha ha ha) of go fast, turn left coverage that only the most hardcore of hayseed Earnhardt merchandise collectors care to read.

Now THAT is a good start to 2008. BRAVO!

Suck it, Hillbillies.

Voodoo Child

It's the latest viral video making the rounds, and it's fucking awesome. A family trained their infant son to give people the evil eye, on command. Too cute! I couldn't resist making the first video post of the year anything but this adorable kid and his evil, evil look.

Now, if only they could get him to say "Whatchutalkinbout, Willis?" they'd be all set.

Happy New Year

To all my readers everywhere, wherever you all may be, I hope you have a safe, happy and healthy New Year. Hopefully, some of you made a resolution to leave an actual comment on my stupid little blog. That's the one thing it lacks, really. and hopefully, 2008 will bring about even just the tiniest upswing.

After all, it's not just about my opinion or what I have to say: It's about all of us...

Smell Like A Sound

Looking through The Vault, one might notice that some of my post titles don't quite seem to make sense. Sometimes, they even seem like they have nothing to do with the body of the post at all. Well, let me assure you, that each one is directly tied to the post, and exactly how isn't a matter of how well you read, but how well you listen.

Those cryptic titles are actually lyrics from songs, and if you've been observant enough to catch the song, you can make the connection to the entry contents much easier. So, as an end-of-2007 treat, I've culled this past year's musical titles into this list, along with the songs and artists they're from. I've also linked them all to this post, so you can go back and revisit some of them if you missed them.

• Smell Like A Sound - Hungry Like the Wolf by Duran Duran
• 2 Secksii 4 Muh Kitteh - Obvious Parody of I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred
  
• Last Night Was Shaking - Rock You Like A Hurricane by Scorpions
  
• And If The Band You're In... - Brain Damage by Pink Floyd
  
• If You've A Date In Constantinople - Istanbul (Not Constantinople) by They Might Be Giants
• Planet Earth Is Blue - Space Oddity by David Bowie
• How My Poor Heart Aches - Every Breath You Take by The Police
• Chim Chim Cheroo - Chim Chim Cheroo from Mary Poppins, performed by Dick van Dyke
• Steering Perception, I Am - I Am I by Queensryche
• There Is No Pain - Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd
• Read Us Any Rule - From We're Gonna Do It, the theme to Laverne & Shirley
• The Sound of White Noise - The Sound of White Noise by Anthrax
• The Sun Is The Same In A Relative Way - Time by Pink Floyd
• Bomb Iran, Bomb-Bomb, Bomb-Bomb Iran - Obvious parody of Barbara Ann by The Beach Boys
• These Sleeping Dogs Won't Lie - Dirty Little Secret by All-American Rejects
• 20,000 Lines Of Resolution - Video Romeo by Kidd Video
• I Don't Belong Here - Creep by Radiohead
• Gone Are The Dark Clouds - I Can See Clearly Now by Johnny Nash
• Gone Daddy Gone - Gone Daddy Gone by Violent Femmes
• Let It Be - Let It Be by The Beatles (RIP Nathan)

Oh, crap. Not that many of them, are there. Damnit all to hell anyhow. Guess that, since posts from 2006 and are few, and 2005 has none at all titled after songs, I might as well go all the way to the back of The Vault and pull out everything I've got:

• When We Live Such Fragile Lives - Dirty Little Secret by All American Rejects
• Back In The Saddle - Back in the Saddle by Aerosmith
• And Yes, I've Dreamt Of You Too... - Lips of an Angel by Hinder
• From Soho Down To Brighton - Pinball Wizard by The Who
• Let Them Make You A Clown - Let the Good Times Roll by The Cars
• I Know The Pieces Fit - Schism by TOOL
• Jabba The Fuckin' Hutt - You're Pretty When I'm Drunk by The Bloodhound Gang
• Home Sweet Home and I'm On My Way - Home Sweet Home by Motley Crue

Amazing. Wow. Yeah, there are a ton more, but they're all in my archive from ye ol' Rancho Relaxo. Maybe I should make it a New Year's Resolution to add all of the posts from the old Ranch to this blog, thus making it a complete archive. Rancho Relaxo became a blog sometime in the early 2000's, and now I'll have to dig through it and see exactly what I have.

Since I did the whole thing in basic HTML back then (what a pain in the ass THAT was), it'll be fun to try and get it all moved over to here. Man, for two or three nights next year, I'm going to be one proficient little blogger...

Strung Along

Time for some video goodness, courtesy of Fark's Video Tab. Today, we've got a couple of string-wielding shred heads doing some pretty nifty stuff with a guitar and what's called a "chapman stick." First up, guitarist Flint Blade performs The Dave Brubeck Quartet's jazz classic Take Five - on a 14 string double-neck guitar, no less:

Flint Blade Performs Take Five - Fark Thread

Next up, some unknown axeman picks up an instrument known as a Chapman Stick and plays the song familiar to geeks around the world as the "Cantina Band Song," from Star Wars IV. For those intrested, I believe the band in the Cantina scene is called Fir'gin D'an and the Modal Nodes, but I could be wrong. Honestly, I'm too lazy to look it up, I'm going by something I read on some obscure site somewhere a while ago. Anyway, here's the video:

"Cantina Band" on the Chapman Stick - Fark Thread

Neat, eh? Wish I could play guitar like that, but I'm limited to Welcome Home (Sanitarium) and Free Bird right now, since I haven't picked one up in about 10 years...

2 Secksii 4 Muh Kitteh

Oh yes, you knew it was coming: It's Caturday over on Fark, and this week's story is about a nurse in the UK who's kitteh was choking on some food. Thankfully, she totally snogged the cat back to life. The argument in the Fark Thread right now, though, is about the headline's claim that said nurse is a hottie.

Well, this here is her. She kinda reminds me of my ex Erina, what with the whole strawberry/dirty blonde hair and (especially) the eyes. Granted, you can't discern much from a shot like this, but for all intents and purposes, I'd mostly likely hit it. But that's just me, and that's just blowing smoke, because as we all know, I'm not really available right now.

But anywho, Caturday wouldn't be complete without my picks for this week, which all appear below. As always, Click to Embiggen, and enjoy the cuteness that is LOLCats!