Thursday, November 27, 2008

Lettuce! Give Thanks!

Things I am thankful for on Thanksgiving, 2008:

My life. Given to me by my parents, not some silly invisible man in the sky. And the fact that, to this day, I've lived it on my own terms, and managed to get this far alive.

Hope for the Future. Long has it been since I've felt any. Yes We DID ^,^

The fact that I'm still standing after all these years.

That the 14 years of my life I spent chasing a dream weren't all for not.

The possibility that I just might be an honest-to-jeebus father. Yeah, that's right. Someone calls me "dad." Suck it, haters. My offspring will demolish yours. Muahahahahahahahahahaaaaa!

That I have friends like the many that I have. You guys and girls rock harder than anyone has rocked hard in the history of people rocking hard. E Pluribus, Unum.

My Family. Sure, we have our differences. But in the end, we're still a family, and love is still unconditional.

That I have this outlet, and the will to use it, and that some of you actually take time out to read the stupid shit I say on it. Stay tuned, more to come...

Most of all, though, on a purely geek-life level, I'm thankful for all of the seemingly-impossible saving throws I've made against Life's Bullshit. It's as if my d20 was blessed by Gygax himself. I'm exceptionally fortunate to be where I am today, and to have the chances that lie ahead in the near future.

Someday, it'll all come together, the loose ends tied up and the final curtain lowered. But for now, the trip is fun, the rope is holding strong, and the stage lights aren't all that blinding...

Monday, November 24, 2008

The Revelation

Cross-posted at my MySpace Blog

Have I ever mentioned how awesome Andy Howard is? Yeah, well, guess what.


So we polish up a few tunes at band practice today, and the time comes, before Dave has to roll out for work, for us to kick around new tune ideas. We're constantly trying to expand our arsenal, recently adding some new Metallica (Cyanide) and Offspring (You're Gonna Go Far Kid). There's some obscure stuff in there, too, like Arcade's "Tow Truck," and, after today, something that makes me very, very happy indeed.

At Andy's suggestion, Buck-It will be covering the one and only...


Yes, I'm in a band that's gonna do KMFDM tunes! HOW FUCKING AWESOME? REAL FUCKING AWESOME!

KMFDM ranks as one of my three all time favorite bands (the others being Pink Floyd and Tool), and to be with a group of awesome musicians who are all quite eager to cover something from them... Wow. I'm really blown away by the opportunity.

In case you're wondering, the song in question will be Juke-Joint Jezebel. For those of you who aren't familiar with KMFDM, the track can be found on the soundtracks to both the first Mortal Kombat and Bad Boys movies. It's probably the KMFDM track the mainstream recognizes the most, given the exposure it got on those two discs. I don't know what kid didn't have a copy of the soundtrack to MK when it came out, but they weren't in my circle of friends, that's for sure.

And that was a pretty big circle at that time.

But to have Andy suggest it. Not me, who you'd think would try to push a track by such an obscure band through. I said, though, that I also wasn't surprised. "Tow Truck" was Andy's idea, and he's tossed forth songs by The Members and Type O Negative as well. Not really what you'd call mainstream, right? Right. So it's not really that far-fetch'd to think that Andy would pick up on a KMFDM track.

Bob remarked about how it had a Rob Zombie feel. ROFLMAO! KMFDM predates Zombie by a year, having formed in 1984 as part of a Multimedia Art presentation. Afterwards, they moved almost straightaway into experimenting with the then infant Industrial sound, becoming one of the driving forces of the genre, which Zombie would later contribute classic tracks to as well.

Dave likes the Zombie feel to it as well, which pretty much seals the deal: Buck-It is doing Juke-Joint Jezebel. ROCK! \m/ Andy and I will be splitting vocal duties, which is always fun, and it's a pretty driving tune all-around. Look it up on YouTube if you must, but be warned. KMFDM, once heard, can be addicting. VERY addicting. Trust me...

Friday, November 07, 2008

I Am...

...proud to have voted for the first President of Black American descent. Remember, Barack Obama is mixed race.

...hopeful that he can lead our country back in the right direction.

...a registered Independent.

...a fiscal conservative and a social liberal. favor of Gay Marriage. It doesn't bother me, because it's not my business.

...Pro-Choice. Again, it's not my business what people choose to do with their lives.

...confident that my America will come back to me. It's been gone since the late '90s, and I miss it dearly.

...a firm believer that charges should be filed against George W. Bush and key members of his administration for their conduct during the so-called "War on Terror."

...not going to be complacent in what has taken place this past week.

...mindful, aware, and will be paying very close attention to what is done as a result.

...not giving Mr. Obama a free ride. He has to prove himself now.

...both confident and hopeful that he, in fact, will prove himself and do what's right for all of the people of this once-great nation.

...hungry, and would like a sammich.

...going to get up and make myself one at some point.

...still trying to gather the motivation, however...

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Happy Birthday, Eric...

Yes. We. Can.

And we fucking DID.

The following groups and individuals can officially suck it: White Power Retards, Racists, Bigots, The KKK, John McCain, George W. Bush, Bill O'Reily, Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, Sarah "Caribou Barbie" Palin, Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, the rotting corpses of Ronald Reagan and Richard Nixon, John Sununu, Elizabeth Dole, Rudolph Giuliani, Mike Huckabee...

And any absolute moron who ever though PRESIDENT-ELECT BARACK OBAMA was Muslim, not an American Citizen, or a Socialist.

The late Owen Hart had a catchphrase: Enough is Enough, and it's Time for a Change. Today, we have that change.

And its the greatest birthday gift I've ever received in my entire life.

Friday, October 10, 2008

We The People

In CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the course of human Events, it becomes necessary for one People to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the Powers of the Earth, the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the Separation.

We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.

That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed.

That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or abolish it, and to institute a new Government, laying its Foundation on such Principles, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient Causes; and accordingly all Experience hath shewn, that Mankind are more disposed to suffer, while Evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the Forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long Train of Abuses and Usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a Design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their Right, it is their Duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future Security.

Such has been the patient Sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the Necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The History of the Present King of Great-Britain is a History of repeated Injuries and Usurpations, all having in direct Object the Establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid World.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public Good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing Importance, unless suspended in their Operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the Accommodation of large Districts of People; unless those People would relinquish the Right of Representation in the Legislature, a Right inestimable to them, and formidable to Tyrants only.

He has called together Legislative Bodies at Places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the Depository of their public Records, for the sole Purpose of fatiguing them into Compliance with his Measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly Firmness his Invasions on the Rights of the People.

He has refused for a long Time, after such Dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the Dangers of Invasion from without, and Convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the Population of these States; for that Purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their Migrations hither, and raising the Conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the Tenure of their Offices, and Amount and Payment of their Salaries.

He has erected a Multitude of new Offices, and sent hither Swarms of Officers to harass our People, and eat out their Substance.

He has kept among us, in Times of Peace, Standing Armies, without the consent of our Legislature.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a Jurisdiction foreign to our Constitution, and unacknowledged by our Laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large Bodies of Armed Troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from Punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all Parts of the World:

For imposing taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us, in many Cases, of the Benefits of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond the Seas to be tried for pretended Offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an arbitrary Government, and enlarging its Boundaries, so as to render it at once an Example and fit Instrument for introducing the same absolute Rule in these Colonies:

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with Powers to legislate for us in all Cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our Towns, and destroyed the Lives of our People.

He is, at this Time, transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to complete the Works of Death, Desolation, and Tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and Perfidy, scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous Ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized Nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the Executioners of their Friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic Insurrections among us, and has endeavoured to bring on the Inhabitants of our Frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known Rule of Warfare, is an undistinguished Destruction, of all Ages, Sexes and Conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions we have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble Terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated Injury. A Prince, whose Character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the Ruler of a free People.

Nor have we been wanting in Attentions to our British Brethren. We have warned them from Time to Time of Attempts by their Legislature to extend an unwarrantable Jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the Circumstances of our Emigration and Settlement here. We have appealed to their native Justice and Magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the Ties of our common Kindred to disavow these Usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our Connections and Correspondence. They too have been deaf to the Voice of Justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the Necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of Mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace, Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the World for the Rectitude of our Intentions, do, in the Name, and by the Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly Publish and Declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be, Free and Independent States; that they are absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political Connection between them and the State of Great-Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm Reliance on the Protection of the divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

Signed by ORDER and


The important part is in bold, my emphasis. Wake the fuck up, people. It's time. In an election where we hear twisted versions of what the Founding Fathers wanted for our country, it's time we looked back and really paid attention to what they wrote down.

This document is the absolute foundation of this nation. That provision showed that our founders, when faced with an oppressive and corrupt government, believed it was their right - their motherfucking DUTY - to rise up and cast off that government, and start over again in the fairest way possible.

Where it's due: Text copied from Wikisource, font weight changes and the centering of the first line by me. The Declaration of Independence is a Government work, and is therefore in the public domain, something else our government has forgotten about with regards to more modern works and copyright law.

Friday, September 19, 2008

An Open Letter To Governer Ed Rendell

Dear Governer Rendell:

Fuck you.

Furthermore, fuck you.

I am a smoker. It was my choice. In this country, we have the FREEDOM to CHOOSE, even to kill ourselves with this nasty fucking habit.

For taking away my freedom to smoke where the fuck I want, when the fuck I want, all I have to say is the following:

1. Fuck you.
2. Fuck your ideals.
3. I hope you fucking DIAF.

It is in your best interest to not show up at the next Bud George Picnic. If you do, you run the risk of becoming my personal ashtray.

Fuck you.

With no sincerity whatsoever,

Eric Jacobson, Smoker, and one of the 12 million people who pays your fucking salary, over half of which are likely what? Smokers.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Douchebag of the Year

Yes, I know, it's not December, so I really shouldn't be proclaiming a DotY just yet. But in this case, I think I'll make a special exception. This kid look familiar? Those shifty eyes, that grin that says "I'm actually bullshitting you, but you don't know it yet," the overly-large forehead...

Yep, it's none other than Andrew Giuliani, son of former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani. Turns out that he was recently dismissed from the Duke (Sucks) University Golf Team for... are you sitting down?... Throwing an apple at another player's face, breaking a golf club during a tournament, injuring a teammate and verbally abusing the coach.


Now, it's not like we didn't know this was coming. Remember back when the so-called "America's Mayor" was stumping on TV, and lil' Andy was sitting behind him being a little douchebag? In case you forgot, here's some stills to refresh your memory:

Nope, couldn't see this one coming, no sir...

So here's to you, Andrew Giuliani, the recipient of The Lost Prophyt Blog's Douchebag of the Year award. You can pick up your Horse's Ass trophy and your Super Anchovie Pizza in the dumpster outside of city hall, dicksplash...

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

First Look

Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to the new Buck-It:

Clockwise from Front: Dave Read (Drums), Bob Haight(Guitars/Vocals), Eric Jacobson (Vocals) and Andy Howard (Bass/Vocals).

Buck-It will be part of Aaron's Rock Concert for The March Of Dimes, along with Dressed To Kill, Ozone Rangers and Rukkus, Sunday September 21st, 2008 @ Electric Avenue in Houtzdale, PA, beginning at 6pm. We go on first, but I'm not entirely sure of the exact order beyond our set.

Edit Bonus: Here's a cameraphone shot of me. Mostly, this is to replace my Blogger Profile Image with something a little less three years ago...

I really should mirror that...

Thursday, July 17, 2008

What Go Around Come Around

The First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, the ultimate binding law of this country, states that no man/ or woman may be denied the right to say what s/he wants, when s/he wants, for any reason. While this does have its faults (such as the "White Power" morons and the Far Right's anti-gay rhetoric), it's still the rules. I didn't write them, but I'll be god damned if I'm not going to follow them to the letter.

Your logic is flawed. It has no merit or basis in reality. The way you're going about this is wrong. How you can actually do this is beyond me, but you're doing it, and you're failing miserably at it.

While I lack faith in any sort of organized or scripted religion, I am a very firm believer in Karma. Obviously, I'm being wronged. This WILL come around and bite you in the ass for it. And the best part? All I have to do is sit back and watch. I don't have to lift a finger to help it along.

Now, I do believe that this complies with your restrictions. I suggest we try to find a middle ground before this gets out of control. There's no need to go to such extremes when this situation has a simple solution - one that might not be what you want it to be, but it will achieve the end yiou desire.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

All Around The World

Yes, I know. I start alot of posts with that, it seems. But here's the condensed version: It sucked, sorry.

Lately, I keep hearing people talking about me. And it's not in the usual negative manner, either. No, this time, they're actually speaking well of me, which is a refreshing change of pace. But the whole reason they're talking about me is kinda unnerving, and I hope this post explains why.

"You got robbed," I heard from one kid at random while I was at Sheetz.

"What?!?" I didn't know him at all, and for him to say that to me off the cuff startled me a bit.

"The karaoke contest!"

"Oh, yeah..." I was trying to figure out how this kid, who certainly didn't look old enough to drink, would even remotely know that I was involved in it.

"Dude, I work up there. Almost everyone up there says that it should have been you."

"Yeah, I've been hearing that alot lately..."
After me saying "thanks" a few times, the conversation ended. It's a conversation I've repeated alot in the last few weeks, too. Other contestants, their families, a few other folks who were there; they all think it should have been me to go on to New York with Mike Willz. And to be perfectly honest, Mike and I talked about it, and we both thought it was one person until that night. When we found out it was two, we both sighed in relief, knowing that the likelyhood was that he and I would be going.

And there's the thing: I talked to Mike. I got to know him a bit. We've even talked about co-hosting a show at the Rowland sometime in the future. Point is, we became friends. And it's like that with alot of musicians in our area. We're all friends, or we all have mutual friends. We do shows together.

Contests like that, while fun, are ultimately, for the poorer among us, just quick cash and prizes for our talents. Most area musicians don't even do them (some see it as the bar leagues to their local 'big leagues', itself the bar circuit). Me? Well, working at the Avenue running a karaoke show has made it more or less part of my entertainment job as a whole, so to me, it's just another night at the office.

But my office is a stage. Rock on!

The competition angle isn't what we're really in it for. We all win, place, or show, but it's always someone different among us. That night, it was Autumn and Mike, not me. I've cashed out a couple of times before, and won quite a few fun ones, so it's no big deal. Wasn't a cash prize involved unless you made the nationals, anyway, and then the competition is just too tight to make it worth it.

I've known Autumn forever. Her whole family is musical, so it's no surprise. Her mom and aunt are themselves wonderful singers, her dad an accomplished sound engineer (and probably musician as well) in his own right, so the genes are there for her talent. Mike, I'd just met some weeks before when I qualified, but he's certainly a highly talented guy, definitely in the upper echelon of our own karaoke circuit. To talk to, he's a very easy going guy, someone I'd certainly hang out with.

To us, it's not about who got robbed, or what judges, who'd never judged a karaoke contest before in their lives, don't know their ass from a hole in the ground. We had fun doing it, and entertained a whole shitload of people in the process. That's what we're really in it for in the end: we do what we do to entertain people, to make them smile and have fun.

Besides: I got the Buck-It gig. Sounds like it's chock-full-o'-WIN to me, not to mention the steady paydays to come from it. Screw $2000 for a national prize. I'll have that in a few weeks with these guys, and then lather, rinse, repeat...

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Off The Grid

Hey all. Sorry I haven't posted much this month, but my Internet's been out. The Mrs. and I are talking about moving, too, so that might delay me a bit more. Just know that I haven't given up on blogging, and it's not for a lack of things to say: Believe me, I still have plenty to shoot my mouth off about.

And to the anonymous commenter who tried to chew me out for talking about the Dr. Adams fiasco: Fuck you. Grow a pair and identify yourself. At least I have the brass set to put my name on what I say...

Thursday, May 08, 2008

o lrd...

Found on Fark, the headline is enough. It seems the Pope is going to start sending prayers to the "faithful" (read: weak-minded) via text message:

god n hvn: u r kool. we want kool & 4 earth 2b like hvn. giv us food 2day & 4giv r sinz like we 4giv sinz. lol save r souls, cuz we kno u r tight, u r strong & u r kool 4evs. werd
Whoever submitted this wins a trophy and a pizza. That is some funny shit right there...

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

A Vapor Trail In The Empty Air

How about them Pittsburgh Penguins, eh? EH?!? Fuckin' right! Pretty good for a bunch of flightless birds! Ottowa swept under the rug in 4. The Rangers, gone in 5, and a playoff series win in Melon Arena for the first time in a long time.

Pittsburgh is Hockey crazy right now. And having been (and always will be) a Pittsburgher, I'm along for the ride and loving it. When the Pens won the Cup in the early 90s, I was just coming into my teenage years. While I lived in Pittsburgh, it was a different story. The Pens were on the outs, and Mario was just stepping up to save the franchise for a second time. And now, 8 years after my departure from the city that I love, the Penguins are once again flying high.

This time, though, if they go all the way, I plan on being right in the middle of it all, just like I was for Super Bowl XL. If only the Pens and Steelers could inspire my haphazard Buccos to at least playoff contention... Eh, can't dream TOO much at one time...

Pittsburgh is a championship town.* Always has been, always will be. Hopefully, Crosby and Crew can bring Lord Stanley's Cup back to the town that's salivating for it. It's not just Crosby's show: The Penguins have assembled one of the greatest supporting casts in NHL history - four lines, all of which can score the big goals, with only two players going without a point in nine games so far this post-season. And each and every one of these lines has displayed some incredible hustle when it comes to defense, back checking like crazy to kill rushes before they have a chance to get going.

Which says nothing for the incredible defense on the ice as well. Anchored by Sergei Gonchar, the rear guard has finally come back to the days when the Sammulssons (no relation) roamed the Igloo ice. And let's not forget The Flower. Marc-Andre was described by one fan as not being just a Flower, but Ivy: He's all over the goal mouth. With two shutouts and plenty of highlight reel-worthy saves in the first two series, not to mention being the heart of what became seven straight playoff wins... It's hard to find anything negative about him.

The board is set, the pieces are moving, and the Eastern Conference Finals are going to be a Pennsylvanian affair. No jet lag, no real need for a hotel for more than one night. The Penguins and the Flyers. South West PA Vs. South East PA. The Hot Corners Series. The City of Steel and Three Rivers takes on The City of Brotherly Love and Independence.

Oh yeah, it's gonna be a fuckin' war. My call? Well, Ottowa in 4, New York in 5, why not Penguins over the Flyers in 6? Then we can bring the hurt to Lord Stanley's Party and take it the full 7 games.

*At this point, I had researched and written four more paragraphs, but got sidetracked and decided to delete them all. Oh well, right? Right. Sometimes, the stuff I type doesn't turn out so hot...

Monday, May 05, 2008

Scramble Rogue Squadron

They're here! Finally, after years of waiting, my boys have arrived!

On the left there is Dakk, and on the right with his nose to the vacuum power cord, that's Wedge. And yes, they're named after characters from Star Wars. I'm a nerd. Surprised?

Here are my boys, exploring their new Rebel Base. Apparently, the mattress is good for practicing ambush attacks. Dakk tries to sneak up on Wedge, who is more interested in the bean bag...

And finally, after a rough day being kittens moved to a new home, my boys cuddle up in the corner near their new dad's computer desk and pass out.

And now, some facts: Wedge and Dakk are both 4 weeks old, and are brothers. You can identify them thusly: Dakk, on the left in the snooze pic, doesn't have the pronounced "spire" of white fur that Wedge (on the right) has running up his forehead. Wedge is the daredevil, having already tried to climb the baby gate we use to keep Teddy out of the kitchen. In contrast, Dakk has been the docile one, and prefers sitting on my lap to causing chaos. This should be fun!

And now, time to LOLCat Caption the boys for the first time!

Welcome to the Prophyt Family, Wedge and Dakk!

Monday, April 28, 2008

Boldly Go

Weekend Story, Short Version:

3rd place in the Karaoke contest. Bummer, but oh well. I got what I wanted out of it: I got the gig with Buck-It, and am now their new lead singer. AWESOME! I speak more in my first Vlog (video blog), posted just this morning in glorious widescreen!

Rock on! I PROMISE that video from this past weekend will be on the 'Tube today.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

In The Valley Of Song

Sad news.

My friend's aunt has been diagnosed with terminal cancer.

Although I never really got to spend much time with her, I still came to know Nancy as a wonderful, wonderful woman. Much like the rest of her family, she's warm, kind, and loving, but not above a dirty joke or three, either.

Whatever it is you do when those you love are in pain, please do so for Nancy. Chances are I won't get to see her again before she passes on, and the very least I can do is get on my soapbox and try to show her as much love as she's shown everyone, not just me.

We love you, Nancy. Thanks for being who you are, no matter what happens.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

All The Away

So, the finals are tomorrow night. Am I nervous? Not really. I don't really get nervous until the battle is over and we're all waiting for the final scores to come in.

For the finals, we're going to be doing two songs as opposed to one, which is the format I'm used to anyway. Doing just one song puts the brakes on showing off any sort of dynamic range with regard to genres and styles, and you've really got to try your damnedest to limit your fuck-ups. There's no second song to carry the first if you can nail it.

I've decided on one of the songs (which I won't mention here, just in case the competition is reading, which I highly doubt) that I'm going to sing, and I have a few choices for the other one. I might not make that decision until it's actually time to sing it. I've already done Luck Be a Lady and Bohemian Rhapsody in competition, and performed Silent Lucidity, Piano Man, and Faithfully as open Karaoke songs, so I've really got to pull out something huge for song #2.

I do have a few reservations, though, about this contest; thoughts that I can't help but think. I'm mentioning them without getting specific now, mostly because I want a record of having said something about it before tomorrow night.

Later today, I'll have the video from last week's Semi-Finals up on the YouTube Channel, as well as some Electric Avenue Karaoke from last Thursday. Right now, though, I'm processing video for the second of two DVDs (the first of which successfully finished last night) for Justin. His cousins Kelsey and Denise recently visited the US from Wales, and they made quite a bit of video while they were here. Of course, it's the design geek's job to author the DVD, but this time, it's going rather well.

Not like the first few tries, of which only one was successful...

I know, I've been quiet, especially with Hillary "Ice Queen" Clinton 'winning' (and I use that term loosely) yesterday's Democratic Primary. I can't really grouse much, since I'm a registered Independent and therefore can't vote in a Democrats-only primary. But as we get closer to the Democratic National Convention, you can bet I'll be speaking up more and more on that subject.

But for now, it's back to pushing pixels. The joys of our career choices...

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Clarity and Colmes

Sean Hannity is a Republican douchebag schill. No bones about it. He's a dicksplash. But by golly, even GOP pundits can have moments of lucidity and insight. Here's video (FT) of him blowing a gasket... Wait for it... Defending Barack Obama. Yeah! Sean Hannity! SEAN FUCKING HANNITY! DEFENDING OBAMA! It has to be seen to be believed; even I didn't think it was true until I watched it. But here it is:

Sean, if you had more moments like this, maybe I could stomach you easier. Think on that...

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Astral Plane I've Traveled Through

Well, the results are in, and I managed to qualify for the finals last night. So far, Frank Sinatra and Queen have done me right (and I hope I've done right by them as well), and now I have to pick two songs for the Finals. Later on today, I'll have some video of the last night's contestants for all of you to watch, including my performance of "Bohemian Rhapsody."

Yeah, I went there, big whoop! Wanna fight about it?

But that wasn't the highlight of the evening, no. "How," you ask, "could qualifying for the regional finals of an (supposedly) international Karaoke contest not be the highlight of your evening?" The highlight, as it turns out, began earlier in the day when I discovered that local rock heroes Buck-It were looking for a new lead singer. Bonus! So of course, I sent them a message, along with links to some of my work online (mostly my YouTube Channel, where anyone can find me singing and goofing off) and an invite to come check me out at last night's contest.

TJ, the bass player, replied, and came to hang out with us at the contest last night. The end result? I have an audition tomorrow at 12:30, and it's gonna be teh hawesome. We're gonna rock some songs from Coal Chamber, Seven Mary Three, Drowning Pool, Pantera, Rage Against the Machine, Alice in Chains, and more. I'm pretty sure I impressed the hell out of TJ last night, and I can't wait to carry that over to Dave and Bob as well. My guess is, TJ had quite a few good things to say, because their MySpace message to me this morning sounded incredibly positive! ROCK!

So, last night was a good one. Tonight, I'll be running a special Saturday Karaoke session at Electric Avenue, so if you're local, come on down and hang out! Of course it'll be a good time, because let's face it: good times are just how I roll...

Friday, April 18, 2008

Take Me Across The Sky

Fun time tonight. Semifinals. Going to break out some Queen, rock the house. Should be fun. Will post more later, possibly with video, depending on the Old Man. Anyway, time to jet. Almost time to ROCK AND ROLL!!!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

You're In Good Company

Courtesy of Farker Katalyst, by way of your Officiall Wednesday NHL Playoff Fark Thread:
//this is for last year!
///i has a SLASHIES!
////way too addicted to Fark, Hockey, and teh Intarwebs

Friday, April 11, 2008

Another One Bites The Dust

The Westboro Baptist Church. The hatred they preach inspires hatred of their own existence. This website has no love for the WBC or the Phelps family. They can all die in a fire. Why do I say that? Because these people had the motherfucking gall to protest at a memorial service for a family in Brockway, PA recently. In a horrible early morning blaze, 10 out of the 12 family members living in a single home were killed.

And the WBC had the nerve to call it punishment from their so-called Benevolent God. People wonder why I hate religion. People like that are the reason.

While the tragedy here in Central PA was suffering the WBC, another memorial service targeted by these dicksplashes was being defended by a united student body (FT). Recently, three University of Wisconsin - Stout Campus students died tragically. While the WBC sent their idiot brigade (and not many of them, I might add), the students of UW-Stout staged their own counter protest, hundreds strong, and forced the WBC out 15 minutes after they began. Of course, there's video...

These kids all deserve trophies, pizzas, and the Balls the Size of Asia Awards. The Lost Prophyt Blog salutes the student body of UW-Stout, heros all!

Monday, April 07, 2008

Slow News Week

Today is not a good day, and I don't see this week as being much better. I'm angry, I'm worried, and most of all, I'm exhausted. So, if I don't post anything in the coming days, don't worry. I'm not lagging behind, I'm not neglecting my blogging "duties." I'm just not in a frame of mind to find content for this thing.

Sorry in advance to those of you who actually like to read what I have to say. I'll be back as soon as I can, I promise...

Sunday, April 06, 2008

So Passes Judah Ben-Hur

First of all, holy crap, I had no idea that anyone still read my ancient video game reviews. I got a comment on the review for Earthbound Zero, requesting where a person could find the ROM file. Legally, you can't possess ROM files, as they violate the crap out of copyright. Whether or not Mother 1 (AKA Earthbound Zero) was released in the US doesn't change that. Therefore, I can't answer your question, because I played it to review it, and deleted it right after. I don't have it anymore, and haven't really cared to try and dig it back up. So please, for future reference: If I review a game, please don't contact me asking where you can get ROMs.

And now, on to business: Charlton Heston is dead (FT). That's Mr. Heston over there, in the title role from the epic classic film Ben-Hur. You might also remember him from his Civil Rights work in the 60s, being one of a handful of Hollywood stars speaking out against Racism. You might also also remember him from his speech, directed at Al Gore, holding a flintlock rifle over his head, stating emphatically that Gore could have his gun "when he pries it from my cold, dead hands."

Well, as the submitter on Fark stated, it's time to pry the gun out.

Yes, Heston was a classic actor from the Golden Age of Hollywood (when they had original ideas, unlike today). Yes, Heston's Civil Rights work is to be respected and admired.

And unfortunately, yes, Heston was a gun nut.

Now, I'm all for the 2nd Amendment. I believe that responsible people should have the right to own and bear weapons. Did you get the key words there? RESPONSIBLE PEOPLE. But I don't need to join some club full of judgment day fundies who want every gun on the planet legal for the individual to own.

Assault rifles? Yeah, the military can keep that. Sub-machine guns, again, military. Handguns and rifles,? Sure, every day people can have those. But they have to be a fucking grown-up about it and think about any and all possible consequences that having a gun in their home could present. It's not rocket science, it's common sense.

Yeah, there are people who don't need guns, Dick Cheney the first among them, followed by all the gangsta wannabes (regardless of skin color), and moving right down the line to religious wingnuts (regardless of religion), mentally unstable, etc., etc.

Mentally unstable, like quite a number of the higher-ups in the NRA. Yeah, it's cool if you protect the 2nd Amendment. That I don't have a problem with. It's not cool when you're so fixated on its literal interpretation that you try and make firearms that no civilian should ever have access to available to the public at large.

There are just certain guns that untrained people shouldn't own.

Heston was at the forefront of that brigade of loonies, the public face of an organization that has way too much clout for its own good. Makes you wonder if Ted Nugent will take over for Heston now that he's a stiff.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008


So I'm hanging out with Justin and the Bob Guy a few nights ago, chilling out in the back house of the Electric Avenue complex. Out of nowhere, Justin says to me, "Hey, E-Rock, a friend of that Mike Wills guy took some video of you singin' up at the bowling alley and put it on YouTube."

First of all, Mike Wills is a fellow qualifier in the contest being held at the lanes, and he's a damn fine singer in his own right. Second, I had no clue that anyone there was taking any video whatsoever, so this came as a surprise for sure. So, of course, I hit the YouTube search box and proceeded to pour through about two weeks of video to find the clip. Here it is:

I'm singing Piano Man, my "signature song" if you ask alot of people. It wasn't my competition song, thank the maker (remember, my teeth took a dive on the last note of that song), but it's still a decent clip. The audio is surprisingly good, given where this person was sitting when they shot the video. Thanks, whoever you are!

PS: The video can also be found via my Favorites section on my YouTube Channel.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Caturday - I Has It

Before I get down to today's Caturday fun, I couldn't pass up adding this little nugget of joy to the mix. Check this guy out. His name is Mark Douglas Jones, and he's been charged with hit and run after running his girlfriend over with his truck (FT). What sucks for him is, she's since died of her injuries, and now he's probably going to face more serious charges to boot.

First of all, how the hell did this guy get a girlfriend?!? And second, if he managed to get a girlfriend at all, don't you think he'd do everything he could to keep her? I mean, it can't be easy for this winner to find a woman. I hate to think of what she looked like...

Anyway, on with teh Caturday! The World Cat Congress is meeting in Houston, TX this week (FT). There's a World Cat Congress?!? How awesome is that!

Have a Happy Caturday, Everyone!

Friday, March 28, 2008

Two Fitty

Is it a milestone? A landmark? A reason to party? Or is it just me making something out to be more than it really is? Probably a little bit of all of them, but mostly the latter.

This is the LP Blog's 250th post! And there was much rejoicing (yay).

It's also the 50th post for this year to date. Party reason? Not so much.

I wish I had something nifty to talk about, but given the fact that I'm in the hurt locker and hopped up on meds, posting something intellectually stimulating isn't quite in the cards.

I also wish I had the motivation to move all the blog entries from Rancho Relaxo, but that's going to be a daunting task. You see, when I was doing Rancho Relaxo, I was doing all of the HTML myself. I didn't have the automation present here on Blogger, so each individual page had to be coded by hand.

Well, OK, not by hand, I used Dreamweaver.

But still, it was a pain in the ass to create all these pages, and since Tripod, as a host, didn't offer up much along the lines of services and options to help me automate the process, it became too much work. You all now I love to spout off and type some fairly long entries, and having to edit three and four pages at a time just for one blog post was just too much.

Converting them over would be a similar pain in the patoot. So, I'll leave the decision up to all of you: Should I make the effort to repost old Ranch entries? Would you be interested in reading what the heck was going on in my mind before the LP blog came into existance? If so, drop me some comments. If the response is OK, then I'll consider either making them all back-logged entries or posting them in new ones as a sort of "Looking Back" feature.

I've also noticed that I haven't done any game reviews in quite a while. Maybe I should get back into that, too.

Either way, happy 250th post to me and my stupid little blog! Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I need to go fall over on the couch...

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Luck Be A Lady

So I hear it through the grapevine that the Moshannon Valley Super Bowl is having a Karaoke contest. Took me a while since the start of the thing, but last Friday, I finally made my way up the hill to the lanes and took the mic.

Talk about fun! The joint was damn near packed, which rocked, since that gave me my largest audience in quite a while. And as the title of this entry proclaims, my weapon of choice that night was none other than the Chairman of the Board, Frank Sinatra.

It was a slightly chilly Monday night in Manhattan, but I still decided that a long sleeved shirt was enough to keep me from shivering. The lights of Times Square were bright, and even though it was nearly midnight, things were as busy as ever. It was my first time in the City that Never Sleeps, and having already done the two things I'd set out to do (see Ground Zero and get a picture of me flipping the bird to MTV Studios, when I find it I'll repost it), Justin and I spent some time wandering up and down Broadway.

After getting a beer at Tonic, served by the single hottest straight-off-the-boat Irish girl I've ever seen (another picture I'll repost when I find it), we walked up the legendary street and came to The Colony Record and Radio Center. I'd heard about the place before - to any music afficionado, it's pretty much the place to find hard-to-find recordings and related media. It's also the home of the single largest in-store Karaoke CD selection I'd ever seen in my life.

This was our goal, to freshen up the songbook at Electric Avenue with some new discs. The associate, Joe, was a true New Yorker if I'd ever seen one. He had it all: The golf cap, the south Brooklyn accent, and the lines of years spent honing his craft on one of the busiest streets in the world hewed onto his brow. He asked us what we were looking for, and I'd already had the answer in my head for some time.

I was looking for the definitive Frank Sinatra collection, and Joe knew right where to look. "If you want Sinatra," he said, "then this right here is the way to go." I got the impression that he'd made this suggestion to quite a few customers before us, because this man didn't even flinch. It didn't take him a moment or two to scan the shelf and find it, he was on top of it like Brad on Angelina.

"It's the original orchestrations," he explained, "basically a carbon copy of Sinatra's studio bands. You won't find anything better, period." He handed me the case: It was a four disc set, replete with pretty much every single major hit the Chairman ever released, and then some. I quickly skimmed over the track list, and found the song I'd been looking for.

I'd sang it before, Tag has it in his collection. But that version (I can't remember who the publisher was, but it wasn't this set or any Sound Choice disc) lacked the intro to the song, pretty much castrating it and starting cold when the music hits full swing. I wanted that intro, because it established the song as a whole, and it made for a right-sweet opening once the full band hit. That extra 45 seconds is the difference between singing the song and giving a performance of the song, at least in my twisted little brain.

Somehow, Justin managed to get that set, valued at $150 by itself, as well as another $150 worth of Sound Choice and Legends discs, all for... You guessed it, $150. I couldn't wait to get back to the Avenue and pop disc three into the CD+G box, but at the same time, I still had the concrete jungle of New York City to explore, and plenty of time to do it in...

Since most of the crowd was the older set, I thought that Frankie would sit well with them, and I was happy to discover that I wasn't wrong in the slightest. When the music started, I noticed several folks make "oh my goodness" faces and comments amongst themselves. Others took a bit more time to realize what the song was, but when they did, they got big smiles as well. With the right song chosen, all I had to do was nail it.

And since it'd been almost four years since Justin and I had found that Sinatra CD+G collection at The Colony, it came like second nature.

But even the best laid plans of Nerds and Men go awry, and my performance was marred by one of the more embarrassing things that can happen to a man such as myself: My top teeth, which are false, de-suctioned themselves from my gums and decided to freefall to my bottom teeth, which are my own, just as I was hitting the last word. That note is probably the highest in the song, and since it's one of those "big finish" situations, you have to go for broke.

In what proves that I have a big mouth, I opened a bit too wide, and my choppers got away from me. Awk-ward!

That aside, I still managed to tie with the other qualifier, and it wasn't an easy win, either. The other four people who entered were all very good in their own rights, and each deserved to join us in our trek to the finals. This contest is no joke, the competition is hot, and I'm going to have to find some even bigger guns to pull out for subsequent rounds...

(This is the first time I've ever told a story within a story, or at least I think it is. Didn't turn out too badly, IMHO. I don't think it'll be a regular thing, but it's always fun to try something new...)

Monday, March 24, 2008


What is the obsession with all things Britney? Why do we care? Her life is a trainwreck, her music sucks ass, and her choices in men aren't the greatest, either. For example, here we have Kevin "Cletus the Fat Redneck" Federline getting booed offstage for his pitiful rapping - at his own birthday party (FT):


By The Numbers

This past week, thanks to the Jesse Campbell murder story (which noone has linked back here to, ignorant bastards, I was the first online with this thing), traffic to this site has seen the most in one week it's ever seen since its inception.

But... How many will stay?

Apparently, I've pissed alot of kids off. "The system failed Jesse," they say. They say "You're wrong about him."

How can you say something negative about a kid who kills his own mother and have it be wrong? At that point, the kid has invited everything negative known to man into his front door and had a party for all of them.

No, the system didn't fail Jesse. Jesse failed Jesse. The system works, but only if you choose to work within it. If you don't, then you've doomed yourself to failure with no blame cast on the system at all. You kids can stop crying about how the system failed, and start crying anew because your so-called "friend" failed himself.

Instead of asking why they didn't do more for him, ask why Jesse didn't allow the help he was offered. Instead of thinking this is a horrible tragedy that befell a sweet boy, think how horrible and terrible this twisted little fuck's mind is. After all...


I'm probably the least religious person on the face of this planet, but even I will concede that killing your own mother falls into the "unforgivable sin" category.

Face it, kids: The person you thought Jesse James Campbell was, wasn't.

So, now that I have all these new readers, how many have I alienated with those comments? Honestly, I don't care, because you kids need to hear someone speaking the truth. And, as the old saying goes, the truth hurts. This time, though, it hurts like a motherfucker.

A young man has betrayed his friends and his family. A mother is dead at the hands of her son. The motive? Selfish greed. The excuse? None.

Noone failed Jesse James Campbell but Jesse James Campbell. And he failed all of you, too. Don't mourn his "mistake," condemn his actions. Quit making excuses. Jesse didn't make an excuse when he beat and slashed his own mother, did he...

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Let Your Colors Shine

Ahhh, Easter. To the Christian faithful, a time of mourning, then celebration. For the rest of us, a time to make a gigantic mess of the kitchen table in the name of holiday fun. The age old tradition of coloring eggs for Easter is as old as... Oh, who the hell cares. The point is, it's fun. And when you go to WalMart in search of egg coloring supplies, sometimes you find the niftiest stuff.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: Freestanding, Collapsible, Reusable Easter Egg Coloring Condoms.
Dunk An Egg. $1.88 at WalMart.

So, what comes in Dunk An Egg, AKA the Egg Coloring Condoms? Well, you get five color-coded condoms to dunk eggs in, a cheesy wire egg holder, five multi-colored dye tablets that look like festive, Easter-themed Ecstasy pills, and a bunch of stickers featuring eyes and mouths to decorate your finished aborted chicken fetuses with.

Now come on, I couldn't show you the condom without opening the SOB up, could I?

Here's the whole shebang, condoms in the upright position (snicker), stickers... um... smiling, and the box punched into its recycled egg drying mode.

In a kit as advanced and well-thought-out such as this, you'd think you'd get a better egg holder. Well, you'd be wrong. When I was a kid, all the Paas kits came with an identical and equally crappy wire egg holder like this one. By contrast, the kit Angel got for her older boys had a decent looking plastic one, but the handle was pretty flimsy.

The real selling point in this kit is the condoms themselves. Made of a thick plastic, they expand and collapse for storage, making them totally washable and reusable. How awesome is that? It's just grab...


And when you're done, rinse and smush. Awesome.

So here we've tossed some eggs into each of the dye-filled condoms. As you can see...

The warm colors are more translucent, making the eggs themselves easy to see as they soak up some color.

The cold colors, however, are cursed to an eternal darkness, hiding the egg in shrouded secrecy, lest the egg be touching the side of its plastic condom prison of doom. See? Easter can be creepy, too. All it takes is a little boredom and a creative wit.

Now, here's the egg we let Teddy drop into the green condom. As you can see, it doesn't look too bad. Not finished yet, though, because...

Angel's oldest son Nathan's green egg, done in the other kit featuring reusable-yet-less-exciting plastic cups, looks alot better than the one in the condom.

Meanwhile, my blue egg is coming along decently. Here it is at an early phase, still soaking up some color in its dank, blue aquatic tomb.

Aha! A little more time with Teddy's egg shows that the color has set in better. Yes, those are rubber gloves I'm wearing. I said it was about making a mess of the kitchen table, not yourself...

Red never turns out well, and such was the case with both kits, sadly. Here's the red/pink condom egg, and it turned out fairly splotchy. For some reason, the red dyes had a habit of allowing air bubbles to form on the egg, thus preventing color from soaking in evenly. Damned tap water anyhow...

Finally, the ultimate evolution of my blue egg...

You'd think that the stickers would work like they do on the box, and have a clear outline around the eyes and mouths. Not so, as they obviously have a non-fun white border around them. Oh well, what do you want for $1.88. Hopefully, Wally World will have a few of these on special Monday, when the Easter holiday is over and people start getting back to life in general. We plan on picking up a few of these kits, if only for the reusable condoms. We can get dyes seperate... Better dyes... Yes, I'm scheming... This is my scheming face... First I raise this eyebrow, then this one...

Friday, March 21, 2008


Google for Jesse James Campbell. A week ago, that name was hard to find on the Internet. And now, it's everywhere. And everywhere you look, if there's a comments section, it's full of the same thing: Grab your torch and pitchfork, we'll have a hangin' at dawn.

Most interesting is one found down the list a piece: A GoDuBois Forum Post on the subject, with some lively debate, including this quote:

Jesse James Campbell...

parents: think twice when you name your kids please
Har. Appropriately enough, the thread is titled "Mentally Unstable." Gee, ya think? What's really sad is, even in this local area, there are probably quite a few more kids like Jesse who haven't pulled something like this yet.

And speaking of Har, here's a funny one: Jesse has made his way to People You Will See In Hell. Before this morning, I never knew this site existed. And since I don't really believe in Hell, I can't say that Jesse will go. But if there is one, I bet he's got a reserved seat on the special bus.

Blogs are finally starting to pick up on the whole story more, as is the case with this post at Dreamin' Demon. Plus, there are all kinds of news stories with details of what really went down, mostly send-ups of the third link, a generic blanket UPI story. Turns out that Jesse had taken his mother's computer and, not wanting to return it and fearing his mother would send him back to prison (go figure, kid had a prior and did State time), he decided to kill her.

And not one link to this site from any of these. Bummer.

Brilliant. For all of you anonymous people who deem it necessary to defend such a soulless, moronic subhuman, you're just as brilliant.

Meanwhile, Jesse's preliminary hearing has been continued to April 30th(links here and here). I'd say this kid is headed straight for the table with the tubes. There isn't a jury on this earth that wouldn't have him put to death.

In short, he's fucked.

But what about Kacey? From what I've read this morning, she took the clothes, which Jesse had wadded up into a trash bag, and tossed them into the dumpster. That sticks her with a few charges right there, and while they're not Murder 1, they're fairly serious on their own. I'm sure there will be some form of Evidence Tampering charge, as well as some sort of Obstruction charge. Accessory to Murder 1? With her not being present for the whole thing (she was under the impression that he was just out getting cigarettes, even though he told her he was going to kill his mother before he left), I doubt she'd be tagged as an accomplice.

What she did and didn't believe at that point has yet to be fully determined. It's a pretty safe bet that, as soon as I can talk to her, I will, and hopefully she can give us a clearer picture of what the hell was going on in the days leading up to this circus. Until then, though, it's my guess that she'll be the star witness for what will most likely be a local media spectacle of a trial, and what might snag itself a little national media coverage in the process...

UPDATE: 2:40pm - The story has made a newsgroup posting, oddly enough on alt.drugs.psychedelics, found via Google Groups. Whoever this Rob Cypher is, he's linked to Jesse's MySpace page, encouraging people to leave comments. However (and this is no surprise), there are no new comments: He's not there to add new friends, and its set to only receive comments from friends.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

But The Point Is Probably Moot

People love to correct me. They also love to leave comments on posts I have to scroll down to find. They also love to not identify themselves, making them a less-believable source.

For starters, folks, it'd be alot easier for all my readers if you'd leave relevant comments in the most recent post on the subject. Second, it'd be great if you'd identify yourself: That'd help in either confirming or disproving what it is you all have to say.

Second, what I've been reporting since this broke has mostly come from mainstream news outlets that have actually covered this tragic story (which, sadly, are very few and far between). The most information I've gathered comes from Greg Bock at the Altoona Mirror, who is the only reporter I know of trying to put a human angle into this story, apart from me (and I hardly qualify as an official "reporter," I like "citizen journalist" better).

You'll notice that, as information comes in that contradicts what I've posted earlier, I've made any necessary corrections along the way. Correcting me via anonymous comments isn't going to get any changes made, because being Anonymous means you could be anybody: Someone connected to the case or families, or just some schmoe who loves to sit here and berate me because they think they can hide behind the mask of "Anonymous."

What I've been trying to do is develop a psychological profile of Jesse. And right now, things don't look to good for the outcome of that profiling. From all accounts I've recieved, talking to folks I know close to the situation, Jesse is a failure. He's failed to grow up, he's failed to rehabilitate from whatever problems got him put in jail in the first place. He's a perp with a history.


Yeah, that's not quite the formula for "poor kid with bad luck." Nope, sorry, I've got "poor kid with bad luck" locked up, and I haven't killed anybody, especially not my own mother with a 5lb freeweight and a knife. And you certainly won't see me picking up a Bible or any other religious text sometime soon.

It should be known that I was one spur-of-the-moment decision away from being in the middle of this. Around 2:00am (about two hours after the actual murder, but before Kacey came back to her apartment), I was on my way to a friend's (a neighbor of Kacey's) to pick up some diapers for my son. As I drove into the complex, I looked at Kacey's apartment and noticed a bedroom light on. I thought she was home, and considered stopping by to say hello. I decided against it, picked up the diapers, and came home.

Had I decided to stop in, there's a chance I would have been there when Kacey arrived home hysterical, and I don't even want to consider what would have happened next. The only thing I could see happening is I'd have a whole hell of a lot more details about this fiasco, most of them would have come first hand.

I'm glad I didn't stop in...

At any rate, I will continue to report on everything I find. You can all tell me how wrong I am, or what I'm publishing is hearsay and rumor. But until you identify yourself, I'll treat what YOU tell me as hearsay and rumor. Grow a pair and talk to me directly. I'm open to any and all sources of information, unless they come from "Anonymous."

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Sentinel

Sad news found on a quick reload of Fark's main page: Arthur C. Clarke, author of countless SciFi classics, most notably the stories behind "2001: A Space Odyssey" (which he co-wrote with Stanley Kubrick for the movie of the same name), has died (FT). He was 90 years old.

Mr. Clarke was undoubtedly the greatest science fiction writer of his generation. You don't even have to be a geek to appreciate the work he produced, since it was nothing short of phenomenal. The influence he had over a ton of today's best science fiction writers is obvious, and he'll be sadly missed.

I can't do that, Dave...

Some More Coleman Murder Stuff

Wow. This has generated quite a response, as I figured it would, but it's a bit bigger than I thought.

First of all, I should address the most recent comment, from reader melanie626. She's fairly adamant in her correction that it's Jessie Campbell, not Coleman. I'll concede that much, no problem, and will correct my prior entries. More on that in a moment. She's also saying that, no, Kacey was not with Jessie when the deal went down, which is a huge relief.

So, why have I been calling him by his mother's last name? That comes from my initial discovery of the event, when an unknown person logged on to Kacey's Yahoo! Messenger account and sent me a message. They had logged in under Invisible mode, so I had no idea they were there until the message came through.

My archiving has been turned off for some time, so I have no hard copy of the conversation (idiot). All I can do is recount the basic gist of the whole thing.

them: hey kacey is in jail

me: What?!?

them: yeah

me: For what? WTF?

them: she and her boyfriend killed his mom

me: You said what now? They killed Jordan's mom?!?

(At this point, I had no idea that Kacey and Jordan had broken up two weeks prior.)

them: no she broke up with jordan two weeks ago

me: So it's that other kid she's been seeing, then.

them: yeah jessie coleman

(It was this unknown person using Kacey's account who gave me the name I'd been running with up to this point)

me: God damn... When the hell did this happen?

them: last night

me: Mother Fucker...
At this point, whoever it was stopped talking, and I've received nothing from Kacey's screen name since. Prior to this, I'd spoken to her online about three weeks before, and seen her briefly on a Thursday a few days before that. Personally, I received no indication that any of this was going on in the slightest. Kacey didn't mention anything about Jessie other than that she'd been seeing a kid younger than her (she's 22, he's 20). Never told me his name or anything else about him, really, just mentioned him in passing.

Otherwise, she was her usual self, pretty much. I can't speak for the two weeks leading up to the murder, since I had no contact with her. I really do hope that she's alright, because she's a good kid and hella cool to hang out with.

If anyone else close to Kacey would like, feel free to use my Comments links to chime in with what you know, any speculation, or just to show your support for Cindy Jo's or Kacey's families. This is probably the worst tragedy Houtzdale has seen since the block party fires of the late 90s: a son, killing his mother in, from what I've heard, is an argument over a computer.

Something went very wrong here, and not just that night...

Monday, March 17, 2008

Star-cross'd Lovers

A few quick updates on coverage of the Cindy Jo Coleman murder here in Houtzdale. A quick check of teh Googles reveals the first blog (that I've found) other than my own to speak out on the story: A blog called News of Doom picked it up and has a bit of commentary to go with it. Yeah, this kid could very well be looking at the needle, and I can't think of anyone in this state who would sit on the jury for this case, hear how this kid killed his mother, and NOT throw the book at him.

A bit of ha ha, Froggy98's website had a blurb about it on their FrogNet News page (find it yourself, I don't like Froggy, so no link for them), but apparently it's rotated out of their limited live page cache. Oh well, it would have only been a paragraph at most, and would have probably run along the lines of a summary the Altoona Mirror's article, anyway. In short, nothing new from a crappy source.

Years ago, when the Kimmy Jo Dotts (wow, women with Jo as a middle name tend to get killed around here...) Murder went down, Montel Williams did a show dedicated to the case, where I saw my friend Clint on the air, and heard a phone call from a very stupid/ignorant Dawn Lanager and her mother. I wonder which tabloid show will pick this story up first. Oprah? Maury? JERRY?!? We'll see, I guess.

While I'm inclined to continue to dig up new junk on this story, today is, in fact, St. Patrick's Day, and I can't help but want to step away from the keyboard and search box for a while and relax. I'll be at Electric Avenue tonight, watching everyone else get hammered while I drink my Sierra Mist 'on the rocks,' straight. I'll be back tomorrow, though, hopefully with more. On the bright side, I won't have to battle through any sort of hangover to do it...

Cats In The Cradle

The weekend has brought new information in the Jessie Coleman Campbell murder story, as teh Internets (which is a series of tubes) have finally caught up to me, at least when it comes to actually having anything online at all. Granted, they're a bit more well-connected than a lowly citizen-journalist such as myself, so they're a bit more in the know. But hey, at least I got to break it to the digital world, not a chance I get often (or one that I get soon enough to act on).

GantDaily says that the murder itself happened at Woodward Terrace Apartments. The police presence my friend confirmed for me at McAteer was most likely a posse hunting Jessie down at his girlfriend's apartment (that being Kacey).

The first mention of Kacey, however, comes in the form of an article from the Johnstown Tribune-Democrat which gives us some more details about the killing itself. While Kacey is only mentioned as "his girlfriend," it goes on to say that there's a stolen computer involved. Jessie took a 5lb plastic weight and clubbed his mother with it when she wouldn't wake up, then slashed her throat and wrists.

While she lay there, choking on her own blood, Jessie apparently sat and read the bible to her. Funny, since Jessie doesn't strike me as a Bible sort of kid...

Of course, The Progress is late to the party. And even though they're the most local paper to the story, their coverage, as always, is lacking.

And finally, the plot thickens as we get our first mention of Kacey (left) by name outside of this blog. According to the Altoona Mirror (who also supplied Jessie's CCJ booking photo, above left), it was Kacey who blew the whistle. Around 2AM (which is pretty much the same time I was near her apartment picking up diapers from a friend for my son), Kacey came back to her apartment hysterical, and called the police.

While I still can't garner Kacey's status at the moment (all I have to go on is whoever used her Yahoo to message me told me she, too, was in CCJ), the article does mention that Kacey was involved in some sort of planning. She never mentioned anything like this to me.

In fact, her's what WAS mentioned to me by her in the weeks leading up to Cindy's murder: Around three weeks ago, she revealed to me that she was cheating on her boyfriend (at the time) with Jessie, the first I'd ever heard of him at all. She did say that she was under a ton of stress, but never went into details, even when I asked her. After that, her account went dark for about a week and a half, popping back up on Thursday morning with whoever was in control sending me the message that started this whole fiasco.

The computer, I understand. Since Kacey had broken up with her previous boyfriend, she lacked a computer, hence her Yahoo account not coming online for a week. Cindy's computer (honestly, she won't be using it now) would fill that void, though I highly doubt that Jessie killed her because Kacey wanted a way to get online. Pretty weak motive for murder right there.

No, there's something deeper here. This Jessie, I'm willing to bet, is one seriously fucked up kid. And I aim to get to the bottom of why he is. Why? Because, in a very distant but still-significant way, his anger is like my own when I was that age. Understanding that anger, and understanding Jessie Coleman Campbell, brings us one step closer to understanding why so many kids are flipping out and racking up body counts these days.

For the record, I love my mother endlessly, and would never, EVER dream of killing her, or anyone else, for that matter.

As I gather more info, I'll post it here. Week should be interesting...