Get Off My Lawn

Wow. It has been forever since I've culled any content to talk about from BoingBoing. I don't know why, really. For the past two years, BB just hasn't been the major destination it once was for me. I still visit it on occasion (obviously), but I dunno. I think there might be an underlying snark vibe going on there that kinda puts me off...

At any rate, BB links to a list from Beloit College's Department of Public Affairs on the Mindset List for the Class of 2011, or those four-year college graduates born in 1990, quite the year for those of us who have memories of it (aka the "old folks.").

Some of the things on the list really stood out for me, given my perception of this particular generation, especially #55: MTV has never featured music videos. To that generation, the M has always been about "Material." Kinda makes Madonna's Material Girl oddly prophetic in a way.

See, I DO remember videos on MTV. Hell, I was nearly four years old when MTV launched on August 1st, 1981. I lived in a world without it at all, though I have little to no memory of that time, other than the arrival of my baby brother CJ that December. No different these days, really. Videos have been relegated to insomniac fare, amid the craptastic programming line-up that has polluted what was supposed to be Music Television since the first Real World.

They live in a world without true MTV.

Another one that was nifty for me was #41: The “Blue Man Group” has always been everywhere. I suppose it marks me as old that my first memory of BMG was when they were simply "The Blue Men," a performance art group that made news when they "Buried The 80s" in 1988 or '89. Struck me as odd, given the fact that the 80s still had a year and change to go, and that these guys were walking around painted blue. Years later, when they showed up in their current form, I was taken right back to that news report.

They've never seen a world without a cellphone smaller than a brick. To them, Distrubed did Land of Confusion (originally Genesis), Dope did Spin Me Round (Like a Record) (originally Dead or Alive), and "rapcore" has always been a genre of music.

As the spoiled brats known as the Class of 2011 graduate from High School this year and get slapped with the real world, I offer them this advice: It's a cold place, kids. It's not going to give you what you want, when you want it. Bundle up, add layers, and don't even think for a second that you're just going to "cruise through life." Your generation needs to learn how to not take things for granted. Only then will you be able to function in our modern society, fucked up though it may be...

01-31-07: The Day Boston Freaked Out, Big Time

Blog post not withstanding, I'd like to point out that today is also my mother's 60th birthday, and she doesn't look or act a day over 40. Seriously. I'm totally not kissing her ass right now, I mean it. My mom is a hell of an awesome person, and over the years she (and my dad, equally as awesome) has done a lot more for me than any mom should for their kid. I love you, Mom. Happy Birthday!

It was a harmless thing, really. More or less a primitive Lite Brite with magnets on the back. A simple, illuminated picture of a simple, foul-mouthed character from one hell of a hillarious cartoon show for grown-ups.

A marketing firm tasked with promoting a movie based on said cartoon hired two performance artists to hang a number of these Lite Brite knockoffs around the city of Boston, as they had done for a number of other major cities nationwide. Hundreds of these harmless devices hung in obtuse spots in these cities for two weeks, glowing warmly while they shot the finger at people passing them by.

And no one said a word until one Boston commuter, obviously drunk on the government-spawned paranoia about "tur'rests" and "enemies of freedom" and other things the Bush Administration wants you to be afraid of while it pilfers the taxpayers' money, had a fit of panic and called the Boston Police.

What happened next has been called laughable by most, embarrassing to those involved, and to this very day, still called a necessary reaction by the very people who overreacted in the first place. The Boston Mooninite Bomb Scare. It happened one year ago today (Fark Thread).

Yep, a little green dude flipping the bird nearly brought the City of Boston to a standstill, and showed the world just how badly the US Government has messed with the heads of its citizens.

But for some reason, it only happened in Boston. In several other cities around the country, dozens of similar devices had been hung as part of the geurrilla marketing campaign behind ATHF:MFFT. Out of the dozen or so cities involved, only Boston flipped its lid. Not even terror-prone New York City so much as flinched.

Peter Berdovsky and Sean Stevens were arrested, and when they gave their first post-incident press conference, they pulled a fast one on the media and kept the topic of conversation strictly to Hairstyles of the 70s. Hairstyles of the 70s! Genius! Of course, this didn't make BPD or Homeland Security very happy, but what were they going to do? They just spent millions in taxpayer money to assess and eliminate the threat of a few Lite Brites with vulgar little dudes on them.

The guys got off with community service, and Turner got a little free publicity for the movie out of it in the end. Boston, to this day, maintains that, if given the same situation to do over again, they'd do it just like they did the first time: Act completely irrational because they're terrified little children, afraid of the terrorism boogieman. They've allowed themselves to be told what's right and wrong by Good King Georgie, and as a result, they've made complete asses of themselves.

And hey, come to think of it, that exposed a serious tactical flaw in a major US city's terrorism defense and response plans: YOU JUMP AT THE DROP OF A HAT. You might want to fix that, Boston. Terrorists aren't just stupid, backwards Arabs ignorant of the modern world, you know...

'Cause My Head Is Like A Sieve

Let the chorus echo throughout all of mankind, because it's been said countless times by countless people over countless thousands of years of human civilization.

I fucking hate being sick.

For the past two or three days, my sinuses have been playing a sick joke on me. On the left side, it's like the Anduin was flowing from my brain. But on the right side, Arakkis, dry as a bone, but minus the worms and spice. Today is no better, either, because now both sides want to take turns doing each thing.

Human existence has its fun moments, doesn't it? Moments where life is so unbelievably uncomfortable that you have no choice but to stop, look at it, and chuckle a bit. The very sadness of the situation makes it quite humorous in itself.

And I noticed that. What does that say for me?

Today, I'm winning the battle with the furnace, without interference for once. When I came in this morning, the thing was on its last legs due to early morning neglect, so I basically had to start from scratch. 30 minutes later, though, I once again had hell and damnation going great guns, and it wasn't long after that that the coal piled on and began to cook quite nicely. Of course, it doesn't hurt that the coal we're using now is better quality, no-sir-ee-bob...

Kudos to Derreck on his recent stroke of good Karma. After what he's been through lately, he deserves a good upturn. Now, if only I could get an upturn of my own. Anyway, go read his blog, and leave comments. It might encourage him to write a bit more...

Apparently Lawyer Mama either glanced over my name-check yesterday on WWdN:IX and contained her jealously, or she totally missed it. Either way, she became the newest commenter here at my stupid blog. Two comments in a month isn't too bad for me, really, given the rarity that any show up at all. I know you're all out there reading, and I want you to know that it's OK to talk back if you'd like ^,^

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Internets...

On A Dark Desert Highway

Praise be unto Darwin, who, in his stuffed monkey wisdom and grace, has blessed us this day with teh goodness and hawesome. Ahhh, man.

And there was much rejoicing (yay).

The Audio from Wil's performance is up and live on teh Intarwebs (which is a series of tubes), and there are several ways for you to get your hands on it. I won't type anymore so you can get to downloadin':

• Directly from Pulp Gamer, who was kind enough to record, encode and release it (41.1 MB 128K MP3)
• As a backup, Wil has posted a copy available on WWdN:IX itself (41.1 MB 128K MP3)
• A Rapidshare Link, provided by WWdN:IX Reader Patrick G
• And two torrents: One on The Pirate Bay from WWdN:IX Reader Michael S
• And the other on Mininova courtesy of yours truly, The Lost Prophyt

I reccomend the last route, since I'm seeding that puppy as we speak, and will continue to do so as long as I have the uptime. That might be a bit shaky right now, though, given the fact that, six feet in front of me and through not much more than brick and glass, there's one hell of a high wind session going on.

The usually sullen and rather rare creaking of the sign for the office below us is now a batshit crazy pendulum of constant "hit me with some WD40" noise, and looking out the window reveals lines swinging like a double dutch rope.

Good times in Central PA...

Update: My update color is never the same, but that's not the update. The update is thus: I hope Lawyer Mama doesn't get too jealous, but for my torrent effort, I got name-checked over on WWdN:IX. I'm still seeding, and we're up to four total seeders now, with just one peer as of 2:20pm my time. On the bright side, I've tossed up enough for two copies, so my part is done :D

Don't Be A Dick

Those were the words spoken by one Richard William Wheaton III during his keynote speech at last year's Penny Arcade Expo. And soon, they could be on a t-shirt near you. Beware, the Monkeys are about to reveal themselves to the world...

Yep, Wil's considering a whole new batch of Wil-branded geekwear. There are all sorts of nifty ideas in the entry's comments section, and I'm sure any number of them will end up being used. Having designed some popular shirts myself (for the Avenue), I of course support the notion of a design contest, suggested by several Monkeys.

(By the way, for those of you not "in-the-know," Monkeys are what WWdN/:IX readers refer to themselves as. Darwin be praised.)

While I highly doubt that tiny pirate hats will be on the merch menu, I can't help but post this picture from last year's International Talk Like A Pirate Day (September 19th, me buccos!):

Don't be a dick, er ye can walk the plank! Arrrrr!

Return of the Living Caturday

Because I just can't keep you all waiting like that anymore, Caturday makes it's triumphant return to the LP Blog. Below, as usual, you'll find my favorites from today's Caturday Thread on Fark, featuring the story of one soggy pussy who didn't have to go down with his ship.

This one is just entirely too adorable for words...

Even Cats have love stories...

And now, for a couple of Geek Themed Kittehs...

And finally, to help ease you all into Bunnday...

Plans are in the works that will allow me to make all kinds of changes to the way this blog looks and flows. What does this have to do with Caturday? Well, I'll be able to post my own LOLCats as well as those I find on Fark. Good times ahead...

The First Salvo

It was a battle that shaped the course of World War II, and most of us have never heard of it. I myself had never heard of it at all until about 20 minutes ago. All I can say is, read the article, troll the Fark Thread, and if you want, check out the Wikipedia Article on this, one of the most important, but least-known battles of the Second Great World War...

Forgetful Jones

Oops. Forgot to mention that I finally processed some of the video from my 30th Birthday Party at Electric Avenue, small a gathering though it was. It's all available on the ol' You Tube Channel, and here's a quick sample: Behind the Scenes @ Electric Avenue!

I hope Angel doesn't beat me too badly for putting up a video with her in it...

But You May Feel A Little Sick

Sadly, this didn't make the main Not News page at Fark, and was instead relegated to the Politics Tab.

War is hell. Let there be no two ways around it: Even this Atheist will conceed that, if there were such a thing as hell at all, the closest possible real-life incarnation of that concept is War. War changes you. War fucks with you. War takes you, breaks you, and sometimes, it takes a hell of alot to piece you back together.

Sometimes, though, cracks emerge, and soldiers slip through them.

A generation ago, a few years before I was born, there was a conflict in Vietnam. We were there, trying like hell to route the spread of the "scourge" of Communism (a scourge that became all but dormant two decades later). It was an unpopular war. It was protested like no other war before or since.

That time, the soldiers coming home were treated unfairly, like a backsurge from the septic tank. Despite these men only having done the job they were ordered to do, right or wrong, and nothing more, they were treated as though they were ultimately responsible. They were shunned, spat on, some even had baggies of vomit thrown on them. In a nutshell, they were blackballed.

And they got the shit end of the stick, while the ones who deserved that treatment got off relatively scott free.

Since, America would like to think it has learned its lesson. Vietnam was a hard lesson to learn, and there are still veterans of that war who have never really managed to reintergrate into society. But apparently, only a few lessons were learned in the 30 years since the end of America's first big loss, because those homeless Vietnam Vets are being joined by a new generation, fueled by another unpopular war, another seemingly untouchable puppet master at the controls, and a new era of strategy from an ancient enemy.

Yahoo News is running this article (Fark Thread), which goes more in-depth into this sadly growing phenomenon, profiling one homeless Iraq Vet and finding out what exactly led him down the path to where he is now. Even as the American people have learned to not place blame on the sodliers fighting the war (a generation too late, sadly) while they disapprove of it, we've still managed to allow our men and women to slip through cracks we were supposed to have patched in the last 20 years.

While everyone who reads this knows that I'm not a big fan of either the war or our inept leader, at no time during this conflict have I ever NOT supported our men and women in uniform. They are literally my family and my friends. My own grandfather was part of the "Greatest Generation," and fought in World War II. Whether the wars they fought had good causes or shady underpinnings, they fought so that we can be free to do what we do. They should be thanked at every possible chance, and shown the love and support they deserve.

It's a problem that we can try to start fixing, but America still has yet to get its head all the way out of its collective ass...

Slacker

I know, I know. I made a god damned resolution to blog more, and I spend two weeks with barely a peep. I wholeheartedly apologize, and to make up for it, here's a whole mess of recap for the last two weeks.

In Fearless Leader news, Wil recently made a set of five announcements (out of four, collect them all, bad math not included) with varying bits of awesome, including another story for the Star Trek Manga series, bringing Wesley Crusher (who was awesome, fuck the haters) back to life for Star Trek: The Tour, and an upcoming appearance at Phoenix ComicCon. For the Monkeys who read this stupid little blog, you already know all of this. For those who don't, go check out what Wil's got going on. It ain't just Trek we're all geeking out about over there...

Apparently, it's Kansas 2: Electric Boogaloo in Texas, as a fundie-riddled school board is set to take over, thereby ruining the education of thousands of Texas' children. Instead of being taught the rational, sane practice of Science, they'll be taught that Dinosaurs and Man walked together, that the Earth was created in seven literal days, and all kinds of other Mother Goose horse shit. Way to go, Texas. Grouse in the Fark Thread if you'd like...

I've tried (not very heard, it's actually pretty easy) to resist commenting on the Train Wreck bullshit that is Britney Spears and her younger, unwed teenage mother-to-be sister Jamie Lynn. The Lost Prophyt blog is above such superficial, useless celebrity bullshit, and for people to be so enthralled with this crap is just a sad, sad commentary on the state of American (and even World) society. Why the hell do people hang on every moment of this crap? More importantly, who the fuck cares?!?

That being said, what could my comment possibly be? Well, it's a sick, sorry world we live in when Kevin Fucking Federline is a better parent than somebody and actually wins full custody of two kids. That is all.

Sadly, tonight, one of the greatest cartoons of the modern animation era is coming to an end. At 7pm, Cartoon Network will broadcast the final episode of Codename: Kids Next Door. I remember when this series won the Big Pick Weekend, and saw the premiere of the original short, "No P.in the OOL" Originally, KND were to be side characters in another Tom Warburton show, Kenny and the Chimp. While one K/C short has been run on Cartoon Network (along with the original KND short and the first KND "episode"), the only thing left of it is Professor XXXL. I guess you just can't let a good Frank Welker character go, can you...

Anyway, there's a 12 hour marathon on right now, so catch it while it's hot.

On the homefront, it looks like I might be going back to work for Aftershock Entertainment, which will be cool. I'll be doing alot more than I did last time, and making a bit more money at it as well. Won't that be nice, eh? Just means I'll be an even busier boy than I am now, but oh well. Gotta make those ends...

My Empire is growing...

I've been beating my brain to death trying to win the single player, multi-AI campaign in FreeCiv. From what I hear, the online servers are full of smallpox, so the home version is all I can do. And for some fucking reason, I can't seem to get that right at all...

Set The Controls For The Heart Of The Sun

Whoops, sorry about that. Over a week of nothing. For that, I apologize. My bad.

You all know how it is, I'm sure. Life takes over, and the real world takes automatic priority over its virtual counterpart. Raising a one year old is a nifty experience, though not something new to me, thank (insert deity here). Being Dad, however, is a new ballgame, one I seem to be taking to alright. For the practice that I've had over the last 10 years, I have my friends and their kids to thank. Without them, I'd be as clueless as any new father right about now.

Saturday night was the absolute SHIT! Two For Flinching (AKA my good friends Tommy, Chris and Justin) played over at the Avenue, and by golly, they rocked the fucking house. They were much tighter than their previous Avenue show, that's for damned sure.

Chris pulled a surprise on me, though, one that panned out rather well in the end, given the challenge. While I was up on stage doing UKJ's Everything About You, Chris comes over to me and says "Dude, do you know Mother?" Yeah, that Mother. With a smirk like the Cheshire Cat crossing my lips, I gave him the only response appropriate enough for a moment like that.

"Fuck yeah, dude. Rock it."

And rock it we did. In the 17 years since I picked up a guitar, and the 15 years I've been performing in whatever capacity, I gave my best live performance ever. Sorry, Tom, but this beats anything I ever did with Dick Dastardly, even the Culmerville show. When you've got awesome musicians on stage with you (as you were, Tom, don't worry), and the crowd is singing along so loud you can feel them... There's not a feeling like it anywhere on this earth.

As I walked off stage after the song was finished, I wondered to myself - If I can rock a satanic song like that, what could I do with a more sacred tune? No, I answered myself, gotta keep music evil...

After the show, Justin offered to not only make me his drum tech and take me on tour with Not Without Resistance, he also offered to play drums for whatever project I managed to throw together. After half of my life in this god-forsaken business - the business that I love second only to very, very few things on this earth - I finally feel like my dues have been paid. It's time to latch on to this last hope for bigger and better things.

It's time to see if my aging vocal chords can still pay the bills.

If anything, for a little while at least, I'll be able to doll this site up to be a tour blog. Won't that be fun, eh? We'll see what happens. Listen up, America: The Lost Prophyt might be coming to your town, and he'll be bringing some ass-kickin' friends with similarly ass-kicking tunes along with him...

Side: There would have been video of said performance of Mother, but due to Big Jim's speakers being all-powerful, the camera bailed out on Mikey. Oh well, maybe next time, but it'll be hard to top that kind of pure, heavy-duty energy...

90% Chance of FAIL

New Years Resolutions.

The lists that people come up with, filled with changes they'd like to make about themselves and their lives. Lists that are quickly forgotten in the return to normal following the holiday euphoria, and thus are rarely ever followed.

Yeah, I have a few of those myself, but I think I might be able to keep some of them. Here's just a few:

1. Blog more. Shouldn't be a problem, right? Right. Plenty for me to talk about...
2. Get the band started. Fred, Andy and I spent all of 2007 talking, but not doing, anything about it. With the holidays out of the way, we can finally focus on breaking out the four track and trying our hands at songwriting in genres other than what we're used to.
3. Drink less caffine. No problem. Stomach ulcer says that's how it has to be, and I don't like that kind of pain, so goodbye sodas and energy drinks.
4. Cut back on smoking. Notice, I didn't say quit. I have noticed, however, that I'm starting to smoke more than the usual pack a day, so I've decided to try and cut back some. Probably one I'll fail at, but it's worth a shot.
5. Make it to Tom and Gina's wedding. Florida, June 7th, and I've got to figure out a way to get us all down there, housed, and back. Should prove to be a fun logistical challenge.

So, how about all of you? What were your resolutions? Come on, don't be shy, there's a whole comment box for you to play with...

You Were Caught In The Crossfire

It. Is. Fucking. COLD.

ForecastFox is telling me that it's 12 degrees outside. DAMN. It's the coldest day of a young 2008 so far, and if you ask my muscles (which are still tense from being out there and shivering so damned much), it's easily the coldest day of the winter as a whole. Granted, officially, winter is only about three weeks old, but this frigid-ass weather has been going on for long enough. Mother Nature needs to get her shit together.

This morning, though, she managed to give me a sign that she's still got some tricks up her green sleeves. I had to go to Weis on a mission to buy some milk for The Bear, and after I'd finished my lengthy trip around the store, I checked out and headed for the doors to trek back out into what can only be described as shirtsleeve weather in Anchorage. But when I walked out the door, I noticed that it was snowing.

It wasn't the big, fat, wet-ass snow we've been used to seeing lately. It was more like the fine, powdery snow that skiers like myself love to see, with a twist: If any of you watched the ball drop Monday night, you saw confetti out the yin-yang floating freely above Times Square. Well, the snow was coming down like that, and reflected in the sliver of sunlight shining down on the market's parking lot, was transformed into a transleucent crystal blanket of diamonds, slowly floating towards the pavement below.

For a second, I forgot how cold it was, but then I was quickly reminded that I'd become a dudecicle if I stood there like a gawking oaf for much longer, so I shook the sparkles from my eyes and made my way to the Explorer. But, for that little moment, I was reminded that Mother Nature can still look good at times, even when she's PMSing.

Might be time to dust off the ol' skis and head over to Tussey Mountain for a trip down the hills. Just another reason they call it Happy Valley...

Paradise Lost

Wil's first post of the year is up and live on WWdN:IX, and while it hints at work he's doing that's currently in Non-Disclosure Land, it also points to a nifty photo-essay on Mental_Floss about an abandoned suburb in south Florida. A modern day ghost town of homes in different stages of construction, empty streets with fading signs, and property once thought valuable reclaimed by the Florida wildlife. Neat!

Thank You Mr. Handel

Maybe, just maybe, there is a (Insert Deity Here). Or at least some sort of higher power with enough clout to listen to my insane ravings, because three Chicago Newspapers are cutting back or eliminating NASCAR coverage. I have yet to grouse in the Fark Thread, but I plan on doing so soon.

And the reason for the cutbacks in NASCAR coverage? People want more local news. In other words, Chicago's regional sections are going to get more space (are you listening, Altoona Mirror?) at the expense (ha ha ha ha) of go fast, turn left coverage that only the most hardcore of hayseed Earnhardt merchandise collectors care to read.

Now THAT is a good start to 2008. BRAVO!

Suck it, Hillbillies.