That Was It - Michael Jackson 1958-2009

If you're coming here to see a heartfelt tribute to Michael Jackson, you might want to turn around now. I won't be saying anything nice about the King of Pop, that's for damned sure. I'm positive that you'll find the solace you seek by turning on the absolutely disgusting wall-to-wall Jacko coverage on any of the 24 hour cable news networks, and also FAUX News.

And now, the absolute truth about Michael Jackson's death:

Although the tox report won't be back for 6 or 8 weeks, it's not hard to figure out what killed the iconic performer. His personal physician did what everyone else has done for this man all his life: Gave in to his begging and pleading to end the pain. In this case, the relief Michael begged for came in the form of what has been reported to be a rather larger-than-normal dose of Demerol, a high-powered pain killer.

Sometime after this shot, Michael's body shut down and his heart went into cardiac arrest, commonly known as a heart attack.

It's been reported that his personal physician tried to revivie Michael himself, failing and having someone call 911 instead. This attempt at resuscitation probably took about two or three minutes before the decision was made to call for help. The call itself lasted about a minute, minute and a half. To be fair, we'll only add one minute to the tally.

Total time since collapse so far, at least 4 Minutes.

Reports state that it took approximately 3 minutes for Rescue Vehicle 71 to reach the rented mansion. Add another minute for them to back in, unload, and actually reach whatever room Jackson was in.

Total time since collapse so far, at least 8 Minutes. That's 8 minutes that Jackson hasn't been breathing, and his heart hasn't been pumping blood throughout his system, including the brain.

The paramedics tried to revive Jackson at his home just after they arrived. Given that these are highly trained professionals, they wouldn't have tried very long before determining that the patient would need to be immediately taken to the hospital. That said, they probably tried for around two minutes, and then took another two minutes to load him into the waiting work bay of Rescue Vehicle 71.

Total time since collapse so far, at least 12 Minutes.

It was reported that the ride to UCLA Med took approximately 7 minutes, during which time the paramedics continually tried to revive Jackson.

Total time, at least 19 Minutes.

Once at UCLA Med, the staff there tried for well over an hour to revive Jackson, to no avail. They pronounced him dead at just after 2pm PST.

Total time, at least 1 Hour and 20 Minutes.

According to WikiAnswers, the human brain can survive about five or six minutes without fresh oxygen, at which point irreversable brain damage begins. At around 9 or 10 minutes, the brain is essentially dead.

Jackson's true time of death was, at most, 11 minutes after his initial collapse. He was dead before Paramedics could even get into full swing.

Everything after that was a hopeless waste of time. Had they succeeded in reviving Jackson, he would have been a vegetable.

And that would have been just another Freakshow trait for him. He was spared that humiliation, though.

So for all of you people who want to say that the medical teams were in any way "Valliant" or "Gave it their best," save it. Everything they did was for nothing. Had they succeeded, they would have turned it into something much worse than just another death.

Oh yeah, I'm just getting warmed up.

Michael Jackson killed Michael Jackson.

As a child, he couldn't handle his brothers' teasing, and that was made worse by his abusive father Joseph. Instead of standing up to these demons, Michael repressed them. It was the taunting that would lead to his Parade of Freak Noses.

Having been an entertainer since the age of nine, Jackson pretty much had no childhood to speak of. Sadly, though, he didn't quite grow up throughout the whole process. Even into his adulthood, he held an unhealthy devotion to what some folks call Peter Pan Syndrome: A person refuses to believe that he or she is growing up, and still act as though they're an innocent child.

But Michael didn't act like an innocent child, did he. Oh no. Acquittal or not, people still think he did it. And who's to say otherwise? A jury? Fuck no. The Court of Public Opinion is what convicted him. He allowed this pressure to further debilitate his mental state.

All his life, due to his celebrity and fortune, he was surrounded by people who gave him whatever he wanted. This culture led to Michael's addiction to painkillers and other scrip drugs, since people would just cowtow and get them for him at his whimsy. Nobody stood up and said "Enough." Nobody stopped him. And he chose to surround himself with these people.

He estranged himself from his family at different times for different reasons, pretty much destroying the only real support system he had left amidst the Neverland Fantasy world he built for himself.

He blew hundreds of millions of dollars on what amounted to pointless impulse buys, pretty much because he could, and noone told him he couldn't.

At any point throughout all of this, Michael Jackson could have chosen to end the fantasy and come back to reality. At any time, he could have stopped the culture around him that was destroying his life. At any time, Jackson could have simply walked away and taken time to heal himself, instead of the rest of the world at the expense of his own life.

But he chose the path that led to his death.

It wasn't untimely. It was right on schedule, in fact. Michael Jackson was a bomb waiting to explode, and the fuse finally burned down to its bitter last.

And he died beyond help, because he refused to ever get the right kind of help.

The only person who's really to blame is the Freakshow known as Michael Jackson.

Now, don't get me wrong. Michael's career as an entertainer - when looked at completely on its own - is undisputed. He was probably the greatest entertainer in all of recorded history. His cultural impact was global.That will never be taken away from him.

But face facts: He was an absolute freak who did nothing to help himself save his own life.

Don't feel sorry for Michael Jackson. Hopefully, the lesson he failed to learn will teach the rest of you before its too late and you die early of self-loathing and absolute self-neglect.

Michael Jackson deserved to die. Michael Jackson killed Michael Jackson. Think about it: From "Bad" on, we watched him go from handsom black musician to deathly white freak corpse. You can't say you didn't see this coming...

Dear North Korea:

Please kindly shut the fuck up and sit back down.

Really. This is childish and annoying. Not to mention you're trying to steal the thunder of the Iranian people.

Wait your turn, we promise we'll treat you as Internationally Relevant at the first available opportunity.

Until then, though, please try to behave. We know its difficult, being an isolated bunch of loonies, but we figure even the most immature of nations can grow up a bit and wear big-boy pants.

Sincerely,
Eric Jacobson, speaking on behalf of the rest of the world.

What Have You Become?

OK. For argument's sake, let's just say there is a God. Hypothetically, in my case, but for this post, we'll assume that there is, in fact, an invisible man in the sky with an illegitimate Hebrew Zombie as a son, who is worthy of singing songs to every Sunday. Right.

Now, the Bible is what it is: A collection of "testaments," most of which were not written anywhere near extant to the lifetime of Joshua of Nazereth, that is the only known record of any sort of divine acts. It neglects most of the life of Joshua, from his formative years up until his early 30's. Despite this huge omission, he is the central figure of the book's second half.

In this half, Joshua makes the claim that he "will come again." OK, fair enough.

Now, take a look at Christianity today. They argue amongst themselves about who is and isn't a "True Christian." Most of those that readily and vehemently claim that title are the hardcore "Genesis is the story of Creation," "Jesus Will Come Again Soon," "Revelation Times Are Almost Upon Us" nutbars. They're the ones who want Genesis taught as fact in schoos (completely dumbing them to natural science in the process), who think that America is some sort of "Christian Nation" where we should follow a Christian doctrine of laws, and who honestly believe that Joshua will return in their lifetime.

People like Pat Robertson. Here's a man who gets on TV day after day and spews nothing but hatred and bile. Let's see him in action, commenting on educational professionals he sees as radicals:

People like those who think that this woman - a wannabe beauty queen with a chip on her shoulder who thinks she can fake her way through politics - should be the leader of the free world:

People who are inspired by Christianity to create things like this abomination:

People like Scott Roeder, the man who murdered Dr. George Tiller - IN THE MAN'S OWN CHURCH.

Now explain something to me: If Joshua were what he claimed to be and indeed were able to come back, WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE WANT TO?

Why the hell would he want followers like these people? Why would he want to come back when the core of his teachings has been warped and twisted by the power-hungry mind of man for almost two millenia, and has created followers like these nimrods?

And you're all believing in the same God? You people need to get your ducks in a row internally before you even think of invading anything on a national scale, like education or law.

True Christians you are not. Joshua would probably laugh at you, wave his hand, and condemn you all to your deserved fate in fire and torment.

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

If Joshua is waiting to come back, he's not going to do so with lunatics like you people running about claiming to be in his graces. He'd be daft and outright embarrassed, I would think! I mean, look at this lot! What the fuck! How do you claim that God created and loves all things, and then turn around trumpeting his name in tandem with hatred and violence?

Sorry, kids, but I'm pretty sure even Joshua - OK, Jee-zuss - would have you all put away.

Stop ruining it for everyone else: The True Christians who believe in love and tolerance and changing with the times, people of other faiths who have every right to co-exist with one another in equality, people who think differently than you about the God problem - that's us, Atheists! - and people who's ideas and moral structures don't quite gel with yours in general.

These people need to stop. Seriously. It's been old for a very, very long time, and Humanity has about had it, I think...

Change of Pace

Sometimes, you just have to take a break and see something that makes you feel good. Watch this (Fark Thread Here):

Now that kid is totally getting all kinds of laid. Good on you, Aaron Shutway!

Powder Keg

Uh oh.

As I've been following the situation in Iran, I'm slowly starting to get a picture for what's happening at home. Not good, deffinately not good...

The Obama Administration has taken what I feel is a somewhat-correct approach and, while encouraging and supporting the Iranian people in their efforts for election - and ultimately national - reform, they're not taking direct action. Military action from the US is most certainly not necessary at this time, but I'm not ruling out that it may be necessary should the situation in Iran collapse, which it easily could.

But there are some here at home who think that a forceful response is, in fact, warranted. Why they think we should be the world's military nanny is beyond me. We're already up to our necks in Iraq and Afghanistan, not to mention potential troubles from North Korea.

The GOP has been critical of the Administration's response to the situation in Iran, and given their status as a party fighting for its very political life, it could create a serious problem. You see, Iran is an Islamic Republic. The Republican Party's remaining base is still predominantly Evangelical Christian. These are two religions that DO NOT get along. If the Republican Party can whip up the Christian Right into an anti-islamic frenzy by saying this is our chance to overthrow yet another Islamic regime (Hussein's Iraq doesn't really count as one) and install Democracy, there could be quite a push for military deployment.

In the name of God.

You have to remember that, no matter what the Christian Right thinks, there are still a few facts they can't ignore:

1) While the protestors in Iran are denying the current regime, they are not turning away from their Islamic beliefs. They will remain followers of Islam no matter what happens.

2) This is NOT a Christian Nation. Sorry. We have Muslims, Jews, Taoists, Bhuddists, Hari Krishnas, Atheists, Catholics - all kinds of flavors of religion or lack thereof. You do NOT make the decisions for all of us, majority or not.

But will they heed that? Will they instead follow the party line and push for military action?

The results are too scary to think about. Believe me, you don't want to see the pictures rolling through my head.

Meanwhile, those of us with our heads screwed on are taking a different approach, which alot of us feel is the correct one. Americans left and right are not only supporting Iran in word, but also in deed. Posting on Twitter, disseminating video and pictures, making sure the Iranian people - suffering from a state-ordered media blackout and blockage - have an outlet that will ensure that their voices are heard.

What I'm doing is one tiny, nearly insignificant part. But all these tiny parts add up to a very significant whole. I don't think we should militarize and meddle in Iran's burgeoning revolution, but I don't think we should sit idly by and watch without acting, either. You have to find a middle ground, and then walk it.

But you can't stop looking over your shoulder, either. Because you never know what homeward forces could be plotting to take advantage of the situation for their own gain.

Nobody light a match, alright?

The World is Watching

Update: 12:49pm EST - More video is available, sourced from HuffPo and the NYT Liveblogs. First up is a lengthy 7 minute clip, apparently from today, showing police and protestors clashing, with a decent veil of tear gas all around. Scary stuff indeed. The others are CNN iReport videos, also apparently from today. CNN is currently running video of what may be an unofficial protest rally that has grown quite large despite the crackdown on planned rallies. I'm going to try and find these videos if I can. Any suggestions, please send them to me via Twitter...

I'm going to see about pulling these videos down and reposting them to create copies just in case Iran's current regime grows some balls and tries to take down everything...

Update: 12:30pm EST - @BreakingNews Online is reporting that Iranian protestors who are either killed or wounded are being carried away almost immediately by police forces. To me, this looks like a clear attempt to prevent people and the media from seeing the results of what are clearly sickening and horrifying acts. For some of the fastest updates in the world of news, I suggest following them on Twitter.

BNO is also confirming that Mousavi has, in fact, said that he is "Ready for Martyrdom" and fully intends to continue working for change until his death. Confirmed by a Reuters-based witness.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I think I'm ready to call it: The Iranian Revolution has begun.

This calls memories of Boris Yeltsin standing on a tank and talking to the Russian people during the collapse of the USSR. I truely have lived during very fascinating times indeed...

Update: 12:05pm EST - CNN still says opposition leaders haven't been seen, yet HuffPo is running tweets from Iranians confirming his location, as well as his speeches and the chants of protestors:

"Crowd rushing to Jihoun St, where people are saying Mousavi is there and talking with protesters"

Protesters in Revolution sq r chanting: Goftim agar taghalob besheh basatetoon jam misheh!! "We told u if u cheat it'll be the end of u"

The situation is heating up. This is history, kids! My thoughts are with the people of Iran right now. Going to take a break, smoke a cigarette, visit my cats and try to calm my nerves.

Update: 11:53am EST - Still no confirmation found for the Kohmeni Shrine Bombing. The International Media Blackout is somewhat effective, preventing agencies like CNN, BBC etc. from doing independent confirmation. State-run media is still the only source of information on that.

From the Huffington Post Live-Blog:

A report on opposition leader Mousavi:@LilyMazahery: "Mousavi is at head of Jayhoon ave. giving a speech."

Reliable Iranian on Twitter: "mousavi among people: I am ready for death"

Another: "Mousavi - Confirmed - I have prepared for martyrdom"

Tweets from the TehranBureau.com staff: i'm dying with worry. please pray for us. 13 minutes ago from web

i'm worried 14 minutes ago from web

she hasn't returned 14 minutes ago from web

my young sister has taken to the streets as well 14 minutes ago from web

things are horrible, please pray for us 14 minutes ago from web

And from the New York Times Live-Blog:

From Shiraz, by way of our reader gb’s mother:

My mom is again stressing that the protesters were totally peaceful not even chanting when they were attacked. My mom’s friend said she saw right in front of her that a plain clothes person hit this young man with a baton so hard that the baton broke.

Another friend that lives in Daneshjoo Square (the place the protests took place) said that plain clothes police came to their homes this morning and told them they are not allowed to let any of the protesters seek refuge in their houses or they will be held responsible.

Yes, I'm Atheist. But I urge you all to do whatever it is you do to show your support for the people of Iran. We were once like them, in a revolution against an unjust system. We won our freedom, the people of Iran can, too...

Update: 11:40am EST - CNN is reporting that, in the second video I have posted below, protesters are shouting "Death to Kahemeni" in Farsi. They're also reporting that protests and marches have sprung up in the USA as well.

Some Iranians are posting pictures on Twitpic of the various scenes in and around Tehran.

Republican leaders are butthurt because we're taking a passive stance on Iran so far, at least in an official government capacity. I guess they really do love to meddle in international affairs, especially when it comes to oil-producing nations. Meanwhile, American citizens are NOT taking a passive stance, taking to Twitter, Facebook, etc., helping to disseminate information and post news links.

Update: 11:24am EST - OK, here we go. First of all, welcome to everyone pouring in from Twitter! Glad you decided to stop in for my take on the situation in Iran. And now, I'm going to make a lame attempt at live-blogging history. First up, here's the video I linked to previously, as well as some others culled from various sources around the web:

Students and police clash. A billboard appears to be set on fire, and reportedly, the police forces fired on the students on-camera. I can't really tell, maybe you all can.


Video, apparently from a storefront, shows riot police backing up as protestors advance. This video has been aired on CNN.

While reports indicate that the major protests called for today have been more or less blocked by state forces, people are still taking to the streets in Tehran and, presumably, the rest of Iran.

IF YOU'RE IN IRAN AND HAVE VIDEO, POST IT ASAP AND LINK IT ON TWITTER! Eventually, I'll get my hands on it and - like so many others of us around the world - we'll throw it up in order to keep these images from being drowned out!

Still no confirmation on the Kohmeni Shrine Bombing. No images yet, only state-run media reports that there are two dead and 8 injured. This is up from 1 dead and 8 injured, which would lead me to think that the updated figure should read 7 injured if one died. Take everything you get from Iranian State Media with an entire can of salt, because it's probably pro-regime bullshit.

More updates to come...

ORIGINAL POST: For every kid who's ever said that history isn't important. For every kid who's ever said that the world is a boring place where nothing happens. For every ignorant fuck who thinks that things half a world away has nothing to do with them.

History is happening right now in Iran. This Video shows a clash between students and police. I can't really make it out, but at some point, the students are fired upon.

The Huffington Post is live-blogging, with video as it comes out of Tehran and other parts of Iran.

State-run Iranian TV is reporting on a bomb blast at Ayatollah Kohmeni's mausoleum earlier today. Of course, it's state-run TV, so take it with several grains of salt. There are rumors that they actually reported the blast a few moments before it actually happened, which is very possible and - if true - could be a thorn in the side of the current power structure. There have also been reports that there's no evidence of any bombing at all yet. Interesting.

And you people thought this didn't affect you. Need I remind you that Iran is a nuclear capable rogue state? Remember the Bush Years when you were all happy to be afraid? Well, now you actually SHOULD. Depending on the outcome of any potential revolution, some very interesting people could be in charge of some very powerful weapons...

To the people of Iran, if you can find a way around the blocks and censors and can actually find and read my site: STAY STRONG, DON'T BACK DOWN, KEEP FIGHTING. Despite what your government says, not all Americans are evil. In fact, many of us are behind you 100%, spreading news, pictures, and video to protect your work by making it as widely available and as hard to trace as possible.

WE WANT YOU TO SUCCEED! GOOD LUCK!

Another Once in a Lifetime

As promised, Nick has sent along the awesome pictures that he took from our vantage point on Monday! I'll shut up and post a few here, but the rest, you'll have to view at my Flickr Page!

Legends - Mario Lemieux and the Stanley Cup

A victorious Sidney Crosby and Lord Stanley's Mug

The Flower Blossoms - Marc-Andre Fleury

Pittsburgh Fans prove why we're The City of Champions!

Update: Gone done and put them up on MySpace as a Photo Album as well. Now all you MySpace addicts (you know you're still out there) can leave silly comments, too...

Once In A Lifetime

Yep, you know me. You know that I just HAD to be in Pittsburgh to catch the Penguins and the Stanley Cup. Although this picture totally sucks, let me assure you that that is Sidney Crosby, hoisting the Stanley Cup aloft on the stage at Stanwix and the Boulevard. Because of the quality, it looks like I was forever away, but in fact, I was probably ~75-100 feet away from the stage. And let me tell you, the view was AMAZING!

Hopefully soon, Nick - a fellow fan I met at South Hills Junction, who had a WAY better camera - will be sending me many more amazing shots. Big thanks to him and the guys who drove all the way from New Jersey (!) for this once in a lifetime event.

To have that much star power - Crosby, Lemieux, Talbot, Fleury, Malkin, Staal, Guerin, Gonchar, and the legendary Mike Lange - in one place at one time... It was something I'll never, EVER forget.

WAY TO GO PENGUINS!

And, thanks to those amazing Pittsburgh Steelers, we are once again The City of Champions! Two major titles in one year! Suck it, Sports World!

Lord Stanley's Prayer (Pittsburgh Version)

Something I came up with for the Crosby haters on Fark:

Our Crosby, who art in Pittsburgh
Hallowed be thy game
Thy Hat Trick come, Mario's will be done
On the ice as it is in the locker room
Give us this day our Stanley Cup
And forgive us, our trash talking
As we forgive those who trash talk against us
And lead us not into obscurity
And deliver us from Bettman
For thine is the Dynasty, The Power Play, and the Glory
Forever and Ever.
GO PENS!

Blasphemy, when used properly, can be a helluvalotta fun...

The Sweet Taste of Irony

Dear Marion Hossa: SUCK IT! Smooth move, asshat. You wanted to win what? Shoulda stayed in Pittsburgh. Fuckwad!


PENGUINS WIN! 'Nuff Said!

Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.

The Catholic Church LOVES to make people feel guilty.

Well, it's time they felt it themselves. Listen to this man, Michael O'Brien, who spoke up at a recent meeting on Irish National TV (via @denyreligion):

If there was ever a reason for the Catholic Church to be utterly destroyed by the people it claims to protect, this is it.

Because of this, my pride in being Irish American has been damaged, probably beyond repair.

Calling

I can't be quiet anymore.

With Christian Extremism in America starting to catch up to other, more recognized forms of extremism, I can't just sit idly by and let them ruin the country I love.

And so, from now on, I feel its my duty as a good, intelligent, non-religious human being to speak out against the fascism of Fundamentalist Christianity and its Extremist "soldiers."

From here on out, Atheism will be a core theme of this blog.

If this pisses you off, sorry, but you need to learn a little tolerance. Just because I don't believe in God, doesn't make me evil.

And quite frankly, if you haven't figured out why I call myself "The Lost Prophyt," it's simple:

Lost is Christianity's perception of me: Since I'm godless, I'm also lost, wandering in the wilderness without God. Quite frankly, I know right where I am, TYVM.

Prophyt is spelled differently to make sure people know the difference between the lunatics that call themselves "prophets" and me, a Prophyt for Secular Humanity.

It's not rocket science.

So, if you don't like it, again, sorry. But if this is right up your alley, then you might be inclined to link to this blog, and to some of the other blogs that I've added to the Good Reads list. You might find that we Atheists aren't the bottom-feeding, godless scum you automatically assume we are.

All Alone, Or In Twos

So yeah. Once or twice a year, I put up a post where I try and elicit comments from readers everywhere, only to get maybe two, and we learn nothing about each other in the process. This post will be another of those.

Only this time, I have an additional perk: Over yonder on the right, just after my Cool Stuff links, sits the newest addition to my +2 Sidebar of Inernet Snazziness, the Live Activity Feed. Powered by a company called Wowzio, it didn't take much to get it running. They only give out 25 invites a day, though, so depending on when you catch them, getting one of your own might prove a small challenge. But hey, why not try, right?

So yeah, now that we can all see ourselves coming and going, wouldn't it be nice if we all stopped in and said hello? Come on, can't be that hard! It's Blogger! It's either Google IDs or an OpenID, it's not like you're going to get spammed to hell, because you're simply not. I'm not a douche like that.

No, I'm a whole other kind of not a douche at all.

All I've ever wanted to know is who reads from where, and why. I know I'm probably pissing alot of people off with my recent Atheism-related Rants, but that's who I am. With the recent rash of Christian and Muslim extremism, I just feel its time to stand up and try to be the unbiased voice of reason, sanity and compassion amid the crossfire of crazy.

So let's hear it, right? Sound off in the comments section! Please? Anyone?

Yes, Virginia, there is a Christian Extremism

This man is Stephen T. Johns. He was a security guard at the DC Holocaust Museum, and was working when James W. von Brunn - a Christian/Neo-Nazi Extremist - walked in and immediately opened fire on the museum. Johns was shot, and later died from his injuries.

This article from the Washington Post offers descriptions of Johns, from those who knew him. What follows are some quotes borrowed from the article:

"A soft-spoken, gentle giant." - Former co-worker Milton Talley

"A wonderful individual . . . a truly jovial human being," - Museum Director Sara J. Bloomfield on Good Morning America

"He was like a Care Bear. He wouldn't harm anybody. Sometimes he was so nice that people would try to take advantage of his niceness." - Friend and former roommate Brian Lennon

As an extra special note that I'd like to point out: Johns was in the process of getting closer to his son, who lives with his mother. This man was trying his best to be the father that all men should be. That was taken away from his son by this heinous act, committed by this man:

Say hello to James W. von Brunn. According to various reports, he is between 87 and 89 years old. He is a World War II veteran. And he is outspoken member of the Aryan Supremacist movement. I would link you to his website, which I viewed myself yesterday after this happened, but it has been taken down, and you're met with a Directory Access Denied message.

What I saw, though, only serves to solidify my belief that Religion is evil. In a constant theme, he's called "a credit to the Christian White race" by a former commanding officer (what are these people doing in the military?!?), and uses that "fact" as justification for his rantings and ravings, usually against the Jewish and Black communities.

He is a Christian Extremist.

That's right, kids, the Muslims aren't the only religion with a lockdown on the Extremist title.

Christian Extremism has been around a very long time, actually. During the crusades, the arrogant European Christian establishment saw themselves so righteous that they just HAD to go and liberate "The Holy Land" from the Infadel Muslims. So, they invaded, and they slaughtered. This act only solidified the Muslim hatred for the Christian Infadels. This dovetails into centuries of violence in the name of God.

Also known as Christian Extremism.

But nobody wants to say those words together. It's almost like its a taboo. "Not Christians," you shout. "Certainly not we who are peaceful and loving in the name of our likewise peaceful and loving God!"

Sorry, kids. But yes, even you "Good Christian People" have your extremist nutjobs. Like James W. von Brunn. Whether you want to admit it or not, your so-called benevolent God has inspired this man - and even more frighteningly, thousands to millions of others - into this mindset. A mindset that has led to the shedding of innocent blood.

Scott Roeder, a Christian Extremist of the anti-abortion variety, gunned down Dr. George Tiller barely two weeks ago. Ironically enough, Tiller was serving as an usher in his Lutheran church when Roeder burst in and gunned him down.

Every abortion clinic bombing or shooting? Christian Extremism.

The violence in Ireland? Christian Extremism. Strangely enough, its basically against other Christians.

It's time that we recognized it for what it is: Christian Extremism.

And as you use Muslim Extremism as a pretense for a general distrust and hatred of pretty much any Arab (or even Indian depending on religious practices), so shall it be used against you. You use their extremism as justification to call them "Pakis," "Towel Heads," "Camel Jockeys..."

With Christian Extremism, according to your logic and justification, we are now in our rights to call YOU names. To discriminate against YOU. Bible Beaters. Jesus Freaks. Lunatics. Madmen. And a whole host of other colorful nicknames that I'm sure my readers can come up with on their own.

Clean up the fringes of your own faith before you condemn the fringes of another.

And to the mainstream media: GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS AND REPORT THIS FOR WHAT IT TRULY IS: CHRISTIAN EXTREMISM.

Deny Your Maker

[soapbox]

It's a well-known fact that I'm not a religious person. At all. What I've never gotten into is why I am this way. Well, the answer is simple, but it might also be a bit unbelievable, given what I'm about to tell you.

I have questioned God since the age of six.

Yep. Six. See, supposedly, I'm smart. Like scary smart. The last time I had my IQ checked legit, it came back 146. One of those internet IQ tests spat out a 142, which isn't that far off given how wildly inaccurate they are. That's the number I display on my MySpace page.

Back then, I understood alot of the concepts of life that most parents try to hide from their children as long as possible these days. By six, I could read quite well, and with my dad being a physical therapist, he had alot of basic medical and biology books in his collection.

It was in this way that I learned the nature and purpose of the act of putting on some Barry White and making sweet love down by the fire all night long to a woman you love. Awwwww, yeah!

Armed with the knowledge of where babies come from, I began to compare it to what I was hearing in Sunday School class. You see, my parents - devout Evangelical Lutherans, sadly - thought, like all other misguided souls bound to the cross, that God was the way, the truth, and the light for me. Therefore, I spent alot of time in the basement of the Faith United Lutheran Church here in Houtzdale.

There, a kind old women named Katherine taught me about the story of the nativity, the supposed devine conception and birth of one Joshua of Nazereth, who's name has been perverted over time to be phonetically spelt JEE-zus. I also learned about the 10 Commandments: God's 10 big rules to follow, and are not to be broken, lest your soul be damned to something and such nonsense.

Now, stop me if I'm wrong, but the alleged events surrounding Joshua's birth themselves violate the 10 Commandments, specifically two:

Thou shalt not commit adultry.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.

"How," you ask, "could this possibly be so? How could the Divine Maker have violated his own laws?"

Quite simple really, all explained by rational, scientific historical study. In fact, part of this real, rational, scientific historcal study proves other nifty things, like Joshua's status as a bachelor! But I digress - here's where this kicks in.

Adultry is defined as one spouse cheating on another, or the act of being with another person's spouse.

Now, I don't care how you dress it up, how you word it, how you picture it. If someone gets pregnant, there's some sort of fucking going on there. So, God fucked Joseph's spouse, supposedly resulting in her pregnancy with Joshua.

"But hold on," you say, "Mary and Joseph weren't actually married! They were just companions!"

Sorry, but you're quite wrong again. Here comes the science:

You see, marriage as we know it today, while ages old, isn't exclusive to the realm of the big religions. Pagan rituals included coupling rites, predating Christianity. Ouch, I know, they don't like that, do they. But yes, things pre-date Christianity. And Judeism. And Islam. This is why Fundies should quit crying about gay marriage.

The word "companion," back then, was used quite widely as a term equal to spouse, husband, wife, whatever. While an official ceremony - which you blindly think is necessary - may not have happened, it was recognized that Mary was the companion - and therefore spouse - of Joseph.

So yeah, that brings us to point of contention #2: God supposedly chose Mary - whom in his divine all-knowingship MUST have known that Mary was Joseph's spouse - to carry his supposed son.

In other words, he coveted someone else's wife. And since God is supposedly everywhere, he would, in fact, be Joseph's neighbor, thus literally and figuratively violating the ever-loving heck out of that commandment.

Even in my six year old mind, this created a paradox: How can a God impose his laws on people, and yet not himself follow these same laws, thus leading by example? How can it be "Do as I say, not as I do?" How can I be expected to follow the example of a God who willfully violates his own simple rules, yet at the same time be expected to not violate them, lest I be damned?

Does not compute. Even to a six year old.

Afterwards, as I grew older, they exposed us to the more violent parts of the bible: The plagues visited upon Egypt (I thought you were supposed to love thy neighbor as thyself), the smiting of Sodom and Gommorah (I thought God said "Thou shalt not kill?"), the great flood that supposedly drowned the entire Earth, again showing no love to their sinful neighbors and killing a whole bunch, even thou he ought shalt not to. Or something.

I found myself with more questions than answers. And then, it hit me: That's what it's all about. That's how it works. It's a crutch. It's easy answers to questions that don't have any, presented in a frightful and totalitarian manner as to elicit the submission of the masses, get them all thinking on one page, and then exploiting it for finincial gain and power.

God will love you, but don't piss him off or he'll wipe you and your whole sick sinning family of the face of the Earth. But don't worry, if you're a good little sheep, he'll be a nice God and only kill the Bad People. But he doesn't want you to kill the bad people, no no. That's a sin.

Feel safe, but be very afraid. Be comforted in times of need, but be afraid.

It's a sham. A ruse. It plays on people's fear of the unknown, giving them false hope and false comfort. It's the world's oldest form of scoial engineering.

Obviously, I was a voracious reader as a kid. And thankfully, I wasn't limited to medical journals. No, I too had my share of literary classics, works of fantasy and sci-fi and historical fiction and all kinds of myths and legends.

Now, there's two interesting words: Myths and Legends. It seems that we, as a supposedly Christian society, have managed to classify certain things as being in the realm of whimsy and unbelievabilty! Imagine that!

Now, if I walked into a church and said I believed in Faeries and started clapping my hands and what not, everyone in that congregation would think I was a loony! "How silly," they'd say, "things like gnomes and faeries and the like don't even exist!" In fact, I'm pretty sure they'd have me put away.

And yet, invisible bearded men in the sky? People with wings who sing a whole bunch and live in the clouds? The dead coming back to life and achieving near-earth orbit? An evil bodybuilder with a goat's head presiding over a pit of fire and flames that exists right beneath our feet?

"Yeah, fine, come on in, we'd love to talk about it with you!"

And Christians wonder why we of the secular humanist community call them hypocrates. How can you excuse one piece of fiction as such, and yet glorify another as if it were absolute fact and truth? How can you disbelieve one fantasy, yet believe another? You simply can't have it both ways.

Myths, legends, and Bible storys all share common elements: they're all well beyond the realm of obvious reality. I just can't jibe with buying one piece of fiction and laughing the other off as whimsy. Truth is, they're both whimsy. Neither has any basis in reality.

By the time I was eight, I was demanding that my parents quit making me go to church. I was sure by then that I didn't believe in God, or Satan, or any of that rot and rubbish. It was as goofy as Sirens in a Homeric Epic, and I wasn't buying it anymore. And yet, they told me that I would have to continue to go "until you're a confirmed member of the church."

Now, by confirmed member of the church they mean thus: As was the tradition when the human life expectancy was nowhere near what it is today, people had to grow up faster. 13 was the norm back then. By then, a human child has either been through or is going through puberty, and is thus able to reproduce. Medical science being crap back then, the younger a human produced offspring, the better the chance of survival for all involved.

As is with the Jewish Bar Mitzva, Evangelical Lutheran Confirmation - both the acts of becoming an adult in the church's eyes - began when I reached the appropriate age, and I knew what I had to do.

And so, swallowing my pride and my convictions, I did everything I possibly could to make my youth leaders and pastors happy, to the point where they would ensure my confirmation as an "adult" in their little club. I memorized Bible verses. I even memorized the books of both testements, in order. Jump through the hoop and you'll get a treat.

Only the treat for me came the day I was confirmed. There, before the whole congregation, my parents beamed as I became an adult in the church. And as soon as I was handed my certificate and the ceremony declared over, I promptly turned their beaming into disappointment as I walked out of the church, laughing, never to return.

Since that day, I have professed my adamant secular humanism. Call it Atheism, call it Agnosticism, call it me being a dirty, hell-bound heathen, I don't fucking care.

What I call it is freedom. Freedom from having my mind clouded by doctrine based on fiction. Free from having my mind tainted by the hate and rhetoric spouted by the leaders of the fallacy. Freedom to see the world the way I choose, and ground that view in reality.

Freedom to be a human being who does something with the time he's given now, not worry about what happens after I've died.

I'm not concerned with being immortal. If my name lives on, so be it. But I don't have to please any invisible man in order to feel better about death. Sure, I'm afraid. But I've accepted the reality of it all.

You know. One less thing, right? I've got enough problems as it is. Religion is one that I clearly do not need. That's why I am the way I am. That's my story. One voice among a growing number of voices who are rejecting the ghosts and leftovers of our primitive past and ready to face the future unbiased and full of hope: Hope for humanity.

But apparently, all this makes me some sort of sub-human. Way to love your neighbor, Christianity...

[/soapbox]