Saturday, September 25, 2010

How Lucky I Am...

There is no doubt in my mind now: I'm the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet.

For the first year of his life, I was unaware that he was mine. For the following two years of his life, I was unable to get to him. So, for his third birthday, I swore that - come hell or high water - I would see my little boy for the first time.

The first of many, many more...

The road to fatherhood wasn't easy. In fact, it was pretty bumpy. First, Jennie's pregnancy came as a bit of a surprise. Such a surprise, in fact, that we really couldn't nail down whether Luke's father was me or her ex. And then, Jennie and I had a huge falling out, and didn't speak for a while. Time passed, and while I didn't forget about it, it took a spot in the recesses of my already-over-crowded mind and waited.

And then, the IM came: Eric, Lucas is your son.

Initial confusion gave way to utter elation, because Lucas being born at all is something of a miracle. As with her daughter, Luke pushed the limits of what her body could take, and almost killed her in the process of coming into the world. But Jennie is a fighter, and she made it through just fine. It's because of that that I feel I'm the luckiest man on the face of the Earth.

I'm lucky to have a mother for my son that can survive not one, but TWO high-risk pregnancies and still produce two very happy, very smart, and very awesome children. I'm lucky that my son's mother does all that she does for he and his sister. It amazes me just how great those kids are turning out thanks to her. People don't give her enough credit, and so here I am to step up and say that not only does she deserve it, but she deserves a helluvalot of it.

I'm lucky to have had the sense to keep my own personal promise. When I was 13, I said I wasn't having kids til I was 30. Lucas was born just a month and a half shy of my 30th birthday. And now, I'm lucky enough to be able to make a whole new promise, one far less selfish than the first.

I'm lucky enough to have an awesome son who I can devote the rest of my life to. I'm lucky enough to see the joys that having a child can bring to your life. I'm lucky enough to have a chance to make a lasting impression on the world through him. I'm lucky enough to have the chance to teach him to read and show him the pure joy that books can bring to the imagination. I'm lucky enough to share my gift of music with him, to watch him dance and sing. I'm lucky enough to be able to share my love of video games with him, even if it means having to play SpongeBob's Truth or Square a thousand more times.

I'm lucky enough to share with him my love of animation in all forms, and to see the laughter it will bring him. I'm lucky enough to have a son who will cheer with his dad as their team takes the pitch and kicks some ass.

I'm lucky enough to have the chance to be a father. I can't imagine why any father wouldn't want such a chance. I have the chance to give the world a gift by raising my son to be a good, honest, free-thinking person, and the world obviously needs more of those. What kind of idiot balks at a chance like that? Now that I've been around him, watched him play and held him, I can't see life without him. He never ceases to amaze the ever-loving hell out of me.

Here is my creation, living and breathing and acting like a maniac. And I absolutely love it.

For a man who doesn't believe in any sort of God nonsense, I will concede this much: Our children ARE miracles, but not divine ones. They're the only reminder that we should ever need of our true purpose in life - to further the species and to help it grow, change, adapt, and improve.

And with all the bullshit I've been through, I'm not so blind as to not see how truly lucky I am to be a part of that through Lucas.

My son: I love you more than anything on this Earth, and I'm lucky to have such an awesome kid. In 10 years, when you Google the garbage your dad wrote and find it in an archive cache somewhere, you'll find amidst all the stupid BS I've written this one entry. It may be rambling and it may be sappy, but it's the greatest thing I've ever written, because it is about the greatest thing I have ever done with my life, and that is you. I can't wait to see you grow up, and I hope that someday you experience the pure happiness that I am now.

All because of how lucky I am to have you...

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