Jabba The Fuckin' Hutt

Try not to blow your Pepsi out of your nose on this one, mmmmkay?

Hottie Hottie Hello!

Sure, I used to do this on the old Ranch. It was called "I'd Hit It," and it showcased girls that, for some reason or another, I'd bang the ever-loving hell out of. Well, this isn't quite like the old gallery, but I'd still hit it all the same. Probably more enthusiastically. Everyone say hello to Amber:
Ain't she just a cutie? Yes, yes she is! Now, here's the trouble. Amber likes to play a little game called "Let's shoot Stewy down." Not a fun game to play if you happen to be Stewy, which I just so happen to be. But still, I perservere, because hey: The chase is FUN! And I think she's worth it. She's really cool, fun to talk to, has a great sense of humor...

...And her bleat just TURNS ME ON!

So there ya go, my little sheep girl. Baaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Reanimation

Well, things haven't really changed too much. I've noticed that quite a bit. Everything's still the same as it ever was, nothing really changes. In some ways (especially one), I'm really glad that's the case. But in others, I'm not so glad. In fact, some similarities aren't as good. One is worse, the one that hurts the most.

Otherwise, so far, I've got it under control.

That said, there's a reason why I've been so quiet. Of course, we all know what Monday was. Not like you could avoid it, right? I mean, come on, let's face it: five years ago, we all lived through a major historical event that had an incredible impact on the world. You can put your conspiracies and the results in a box, tape it shut, and put it in the closet for a while, because when you get down to the reality of it, it was an incredible human tragedy.

No matter who did this, or what our government did to provoke it, the cold hard truth is that many, many people died in a very horrible way that day. And it doesn't hurt that quite a number of people survived to relay what happened, either. No matter how you politicize it, you still can't escape that fact, and many people remember this fact.

Yet here we are today. Nothing's changed. People are no less safe than they were that day five years ago. At any given moment, we could all suffer a similar fate, etching our names into history alongside terrible events. And how would people feel five years from then? Would politicians continuously use that tragedy to persue their own agendas? Would soldiers die in needless wars in your name, too, adding to the tragedy that underlies it all?

Sometimes, we forget those who died. Not those of us who lost someone close, but those of us who's connections were either distant or only through TV, Radio and Internet coverage. Those of us that, at the very least, should feel the human connection, forget all that and polarize ourselves in ways that tend to bring back the pre-9/11 bickering we did over petty politics.

The throes of history have wroght little change.

In the name of those who died, we've fallen farther into a hole dug for us by our forerunners. Our civil rights are beinig infringed upon slowly, but surely. In the name of those who died, we're being spied upon by our own government. In the name of those who died, we debate endlessly with our neighbors over issues that have no other bearing on society that irking someone's fickle morals.

People died. People continue to die. Nothing's changed at all. If anything, it's been made worse.

The death toll in Iraq alone is steadily reaching the death toll at the World Trade Center.

Instead of change, we've only chosen more death. We're no better than those who attacked us.

And we're still arguing over the wrong things: Abortion, stem cell research, what's on TV, things that shouldn't be used as footballs for each side's cause. Sure, it feeds the larger argument, the one we should be paying attention to, but it also clouds it heavily.

We've been blinded to the real reason these people died, and thusly, are doing them little justice. These were our family, our friends. These were people who helped make the world go. They had husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, sons, daughters. They lived real lives, just like ours. They got up, went to work, paid bills, raised kids, took vacations, went to movies - Just like we all do. They were human beings.

And they deserve alot better than what we've managed to give them. We can build all the memorial parks and structures we want. Somehow, the point has still been missed.

There was a lesson in their deaths, and many of us have failed to learn it. Some are learning it the hard way, suffering even more loss. Some are learning it and doing the wrong thing with it. I think that here, five years later, we should start remembering things a different way, the way we should.

Until then, my plan is to keep on doing what I've been doing, because it seems to be working. At least I haven't sewn myself into the wrong clothes...

Bookworm Prophyt

I read too damn much. To prove it, here's a list of all the books I've read in the last six months...

1. "A Venom In The Blood" by Eric Hoffmann
2. "The Bone Collector" by Jeffery Deaver
3. "Hannibal" by Thomas Harris
4. "Clawhammer" by Sam Lewellyn
5. "The Magician's Nephew" (Narnia Book 1) by C.S. Lewis
6. "The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe" (Narnia Book 2) by C.S. Lewis
7. "The Horse And His Boy" (Narnia Book 3) by C.S. Lewis
8. "Prince Caspian" (Narnia Book 4) by C.S. Lewis
9. "Voyage Of The Dawn Treader" (Narnia Book 5) by C.S. Lewis
10. "The Silver Chair" (Narnia Book 6) by C.S. Lewis
11. "The Final Battle" (Narnia Book 7) by C.S. Lewis
12. "Demons Don't Dream" by Piers Anthony
13. "The Silmarillion" by J.R.R. Tolkien
14. "The Hobbit" by J.R.R. Tolkien
15. "The Fellowship Of The Ring" by J.R.R. Tolkien
16. "The Two Towers" by J.R.R. Tolkien
17. "The Return Of The King" by J.R.R. Tolkien
18. "2001: A Space Odyssey" by Arthur C. Clarke
19. "2010: Odyssey Two" by Arthur C. Clarke
20. "2061: Odyssey Three" by Arthur C. Clarke
21. "3001: The Final Odyssey" by Arthur C. Clarke
22. "State Of Fear" by Michael Crichton
23. "Digital Fortress" by Dan Brown
24. "The DaVinci Code" by Dan Brown
25. "An Inconvenient Truth" by Al Gore
26. "Frankenstein" by Mary Shelley
27. "Treasure Island" by Robert Louis Stevenson
28. "Dracula" by Bram Stoker
    
29. "A Wizard Of Earthsea" by Ursula K. Le Guin
30. "The Tombs Of Atuan" by Ursula K. Le Guin
31. "The Farthest Shore" by Ursula K. Le Guin
32. "Tehanu" by Ursula K. Le Guin
33. "The Other Wind" by Ursula K. Le Guin
34. "Tales From Earthsea" by Ursula K. Le Guin
35. "Magician: Apprentice" by Raymond E. Feist
    
36. "Magician: Master" by Raymond E. Feist
37. "Silverthorn" by Raymond E. Feist
38. "A Darkness At Sethanon" by Raymond E. Feist
39. "Daughter Of The Empire" by Raymond E. Feist and Janny Wurts
40. "Servant Of The Empire" by Raymond E. Feist and Janny Wurts
41. "Mistress Of The Empire" by Raymond E. Feist and Janny Wurts
42. "Krondor: The Betrayal" by Raymond E. Feist
43. "Krondor: The Assassins" by Raymond E. Feist
44. "Krondor: Tear Of The Gods" by Raymond E. Feist
45. "Prince Of The Blood" by Raymond E. Feist
46. "The King's Buccaneer" by Raymond E. Feist
47. "Shadow Of A Dark Queen" by Raymond E. Feist
48. "Rise Of A Merchant Prince" by Raymond E. Feist
49. "Rage Of A Demon King" by Raymond E. Feist
50. "Shards Of A Broken Crown" by Raymond E. Feist
51. "Talon Of The Silver Hawk" by Raymond E. Feist
52. "King Of Foxes" by Raymond E. Feist
53. "Exile's Return" by Raymond E. Feist
54. "Faerie Tale" by Raymond E. Feist
55. "The Forever War" by Joe Haldeman
56. "Ender's Game" by Orson Scott Card
57. "Ender's Shadow" by Orson Scott Card
58. "Shadow Of The Hegemon" by Orson Scott Card
59. "Shadow Puppets" by Orson Scott Card
60. "Shadow Of The Giant" by Orson Scott Card
61. "Speaker For The Dead" by Orson Scott Card
62. "First Meetings" by Orson Scott Card
63. "Xenocide" by Orson Scott Card
64. "Children Of The Mind" by Orson Scott Card
65. "The Magician's Guild" by Trudi Canavan
66. "The Novice" by Trudi Canavan
67. "The High Lord" by Trudi Canavan
68. "Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone" by J.K. Rowling
69. "Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets" by J.K. Rowling
70. "Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban" by J.K. Rowling
71. "Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire" by J.K. Rowling
72. "Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix" by J.K. Rowling
73. "Harry Potter And The Half-blood Prince" by J.K. Rowling"
74. "Super System" by Doyle Brunson
75. "The Gilded Chain" by Dave Duncan
76. "Lord Of The Fire Lands" by Dave Duncan
77. "Sky Of Swords" by Dave Duncan
78. "Paragon Lost" by Dave Duncan
79. "Impossible Odds" by Dave Duncan
80. "The Jaguar Knights" by Dave Duncan"
81. "Far Horizons" edited by Robert Silverberg

Phew! That's a whole helluva lotta books! Am I crazy? Probably. But then again, I've always been a book nerd, so it's not really all that surprising. But at least I'm not crazy enough to review them all, right? Right. I highly reccomend all of them, it's all good stuff...

Home Sweet Home

Yes, folks, I'm home!

Stay tuned for further details...

I"m On My Way

It won't be long now, kids. I'll be seeing you all very soon. Not like you're looking forward to it or anything.
Oh, by the way - Hi Dawn! :P

Slide It In

Posts of Weirdness Past... If you've found this, congratulations. I thought I buried this one quite well, but alas and alack, here it is.

I'm required to post a lil' something about my new widget over there, the Live Activity feed. So, here's the obligatory Best Ice Cream Makers link, and obligation satisfied. Simple as that.

It's a small price to pay for such a neato widget. I think it'll be fun to pinpoint visitors a bit better than the Clustermap can (though I still <3 that as well)...

The Near Future

The near future doesn't bode well for me, which sucks.

I'll explain more on Sunday. For now, though, I'm going to enjoy the living hell out of this week.

Good Riddance

Apparently, today is the 5th anniversary of the death of one Dale Earnhardt, Sr. You know the guy. Hell, you can't go anywhere without seeing some form of #3 merchandise on someone's car, hat, shirt, anything. For some reason, this wee little man with a mustache was the most celebrated "athlete" in his "sport."

By the way, these "athletes" sit in a seat, push pedals with their feet, and turn a wheel.

And this "sport?" Go fast, turn left, repeat.

And then he plowed into a wall. No more Intimidator. No more hero.

Hero of a "sport" that calls disorganized crime it's father, and the bosom of redneck culture its mother.

NASCAR's roots are easily traceable. Let's go back to Prohibition. In the South, Moonshine was the answer to the Government's banning of alcohol. In order to distribute the Shine, hillbillies souped up their cars, pushing the limits of the vehicles of the day in order to outrun the cops. They became known as Shine Runners.

Unsurprisingly, since rednecks are often the center of their own individual universes, boasting began over who's shine hauler was the bee's knees, and races were organized to see just who had the most pimped out ride. Thusly, NASCAR was born.

Go to any given NASCAR event, and just watch people. Tell me what you see. 90% of the crowd there will most assuredly be straight out of Deliverance. Seriously. Watch people smile, then start counting teeth. I bet you won't get to a very high number, and it most certainly won't create a good teeth/adult mouth ratio (which should be at least 20/1).

I'd hoped it would finally die with Earnhardt. The most iconic driver in NASCAR history, killed by the sport he devoted his life to. I'd hoped his accident would raise questions as to the safety issues brought about by racing at that level and kill it. But no, it began to thrive more and more.

And people just won't let go of the fact that Dale is dead. They continue to plaster #3 on everything: Car windows, flags, shirts, hats... It hasn't ended, even five years later. They treat this man like a damn saint, almost to the point of worship. Go into any random redneck home, and chances are you'll see a shrine of pictures and collectibles devoted to the guy.

Why?

A sport born of alcohol, sponsored by alcohol, and watched by people who consume absurd amounts of alcohol. There's nothing wrong with that? Somehow, it's hard to miss the connection of "Drinking and Driving."

And I love the local color that NASCAR culture creates. Nothing like getting passed in a double yellow by two good ol' boys in their 15 year old Chevy Celebrity, pretending they're behind the wheel of the #24 Monte Carlo while they've got Merle Haggard jamming full blast in the stereo 8-track, windows down screaming "Yee haw" as they drive past you. Yeah, real smart there, Duke Boys. Might be time to go visit Uncle Jesse and re-up your shine supply. Brilliant.

What these tools fail to realize is that every company that offers them Dale Earnhardt Sr. anything is just trying to cash in on a dead man's fame. They're not doing it for "the memory of a great athlete," they're doing it for George Washington, Abe Lincoln, Andrew Jackson, and Benjamin Franklin. They know that you'll buy anything with a #3 on it. They know you're willing to shell out a good amount of cash because of your "love" of a rotting corpse.

Yep. He's a rotting corpse. He has been dead five years, you know.

Let it go, people. Take the stickers off your windows, take your flags off of the cheap wood "porches" you've built onto your trailers. He's dead. He's not coming back. He's a decaying mass of bones and flesh five years through the breakdown process. Open the coffin, it will smell very bad. He's not on the track, his spirit is not on the track. He does not haunt Daytona. What he haunts is the minds of people who are sick and tired of hearing about him, constantly reminded by your mindless devotion to a dead man.

Please. For the love of humanity. No more #3.

Outatime

Gee, thanks, Wil. His latest post over at WWdN:IX just had to be about retro gaming, didn't it. Back when I was a kid, I was addicted to video games. They were new, they were super cool (you could play a game... On your TV!), and after the 1983 crash, they were dirt cheap. The system in question here is the Intellivision (Intelligent Television, the second generation of which is shown at right), and yes: I indeed had one of these bad boys. In fact, I had all three versions at one point. Come to think of it, I think my original Intellivision I is still downstairs somewhere...

JC and I were hooked on these consoles. In the pre-NES days, they were the king shit console of consoles. They made Atari's consoles look like they were trapped in the PONG era. Though it's not widely known, the INTVs were, in fact, true 16 Bit systems. At its peak, the INTV family had over 100 games available for it, and consoles of one style or another were produced up until the end of the 80's, well into the NES era.

After the industry crash of 1983, Intellivision alone survived. Other companies had given up on the home console market after a flood of systems and shoddy games polluted the genre, but INTV managed to stick it out. At the time, one of the local pharmacies (and only store within 30 miles to carry games) had begun selling off carts for $2 and $3 apiece, leaving JC and I to up our libraries considerably. One such trip, I remember, brought about the addition of the uber-classic Triple Action to my collection.

Night Stalker. SNAFU. AD&D. Space Hawk. Star Strike. Donkey Kong. Mouse Trap. Utopia. Lock-N-Chase. Burger Time. Quite a few different TRON titles. Ka-BOOM!

Seriously. I just spent the last hour at the official Blue Sky Rangers website. Awesome. Just... Wow. If you're in your mid-20's or older and want to take a great walk through the past, or if you're some punk kid spoiled by your PlayStation 2's and your XBox 360s and needs a lesson on why you have those consoles at all, pay it a visit.

Super Bowl Weekend Pics

Alright, alright, so I know this is shameless self-promotion. But I'm allowed. Here are links to all of my cameraphone shots from Super Bowl weekend in Pittsburgh. All seven of them. Heh.

Angel And I, Pre-Game
Angel At Paulie's
Cortez
Shorty
Paulie and his Polamalu-ish hat
The Gang At Paulie's
BK being a lazy cat

Do enjoy them.

Welcome Aboard, Angel...

I'd like to be the first to welcome Angel to the Blogosphere! She's joing up as a member of our team blog, and will be helping contribute to the project when she finds time and nifty crap to post about. But I'm proud as hell that she's giving it a go. Hopefully, she'll be better at it than Derreck has been... (Something That Makes Sense)

HERE WE GO STEELERS!!!

Hell yes, one for The Bus! Go Steelers! Feel free to use this as your buddy icon/display image!

Touched By An Angel

Can you say "Happy Eric?" Sure, I knew you could.

Love ya, Angel!

Why Do People Hate FOX?

The following is a post I made at the Internet Movie Database's page for the forthcoming Futurama movie. It has to contain the single funniest line I've ever typed in a serious argument, and I've highlighted it specifically. Why? Well, because I think it's pretty damn funny. Anyway, here's why people hate FOX:

Because the suits at FOX are nothing more than a bunch of morons. Need proof?

Canceled: Futurama, Family Guy, Firefly. Three great programs with sizable cult followings. Because they're not shameless ratings fodder like American Idol, the suits at FOX like to "trim the fat," often cutting out what is honestly great programming. Family Guy was saved by us, the fans, by buying up DVDs and giving the suits heck. Futurama, as is evidenced by this entry, is making a slight comeback. Firefly? It was probably the best new SciFi show on TV along with Battlestar Galactica. But FOX suits don't understand what that means.

All they understand is what sells. American Idol sells because complete idiots watch crap like that in droves. Firefly didn't sell because SciFi is still considered a "niche" genre. Heck, they probably think that stuff is just for 30 year old fanboys who still live in Mom's basement downloading poorly hacked nudie pics of Britany-Jo Spears-Federline-Cletus-McHatfield. They don't recognize a little thing we like to call "Fresh, Quality Entertainment." They'd rather feed us an entire season of Simon Cowell being the poor judge of talent he is, pushing it just because people like it when he trashes someone.

Nope. FOX isn't the network it used to be. In the beginning, FOX suits were brash upstarts who gave envelope-pushing programming like The Simpsons and Married... With Children the greenlight and scored big. Now, it's Rupert freaking Murdoch, who's older than dirt, and his money-grubbing, Bush-supporting old fart Country Club buddies who are calling the shots. And all they want to do is make their kids' trust funds a little fatter by pawning off crap.

But we can't blame this all on FOX. No, a lot of the blame rests on the complete tools who think shows like American Idol are "cool" and tune in, week-in and week-out, to watch like the mindless zombies the suits want them to be. The viewing public is just as indifferent to and ignorant of FOX's programming decisions as the people who actually make said decisions. "You want more morons like William Hung, but not a fresh, interesting and thought-provoking show like Firefly? Good on ya. Now pay us."

And you people buy it up like good little ants. Sad.

Shows like Family Guy, Futurama and Firefly BELONG on our TVs. Why? Because it's good entertainment floating in a nasty, brown-tinted sea of crap, complete with that oh-so-pungent Northern New Jersey smell.

And now, because I feel that I have not used enough hyphens, here are a few more:

------------------------------------------

Now then. That's why people hate on FOX. What's really sad is, those people are in an obvious minority. They're the people who can find something better than American Idol to watch. They're the smart ones.

American Idol Fans/FOX Lovers - You might want to eat your mental Wheaties...

Heh. Hyphenate names suck! Oh. And if you're looking for me on the IMDb boards, I post under AnimationJunkieX...